Rejection

In my line of work, I get a fair share of rejected emails. People drop addresses and don't tell me. They switch service providers the way some people clip coupons. I've noticed recently that the rejections, the bounce-backs we say, have become rather sensitive. "We're sorry asdfa@blahblah.com is not a valid address. Please check the address. Blah blah blah." And then, the big finish, "Virtually yours," from the Administrator. Virtually yours. I like it. It's the promise ring of closings. Not yours, but we're almost there. Maybe if you didn't bite your nails so much we could lose the virtually. 'Til then... Virtually yours.
Yep. Definitely like it.

There was another one that struck me, too. It didn't have the flair of "virtually yours" but for a last line, it was pretty touchy-feely for an automated response, "I'm sorry it didn't work out." Was it me? Was it something I emailed? I could've been virtually yours and it could've been B-E-A-U-Tiful. It's your loss, automated response. Don't come begging to have me back. I won't hear of it.