I'm flying, Jack
I'm feeling particularly antsy. Overtime isn't helping. The free southern peach Ben and Jerry's ice cream didn't hurt, but it didn't last long. Take me away. To a place where injuries heal, extra work disappears and insurance isn't twice as expensive.

I listen to Bluegrass Country everyday now. I need a banjo.

It's my life
If life is a choose your own adventure, I need to stop picking the same one every day.

to laugh, or to cry?
My grandma claims to have thrown a party this past weekend, but she didn't invite anyone because she couldn't get a hold of them. She also claims to have been kidnapped by the Mafia.
My Sociolgy teacher claimed there is no Mafia.

strange desires
If I had a banjo right now, I'd be playing it.

Sure, Dave, that'll be the day
Know how blogger introduced that feature so you could call into your blog from a phone and post? Well, why stop there? I say connect a button through your neurons that goes off whenever you press your thumb and forefinger together so you can blog as soon as you think it. How cool would that be? No longer would you get these edited, scripted posts. You'd have the real stuff. Uncut and unfiltered, or at least more uncut and unfiltered. Although, I get the feeling that Clare doesn't leave out much on American Idol days anyway. Best of all THINK of the hilarity when people posted by accident. That girl is kinda cute. She doesn't have a wedding ring. Her nose is kinda big. I wonder if I have any frozen pizza left. I really have to pee. I think I do have pizza, whoa, was that my stop? See what I mean!

I interview tomorrow.

You can say that again
but you don't have to.
That's the best Secretaries' Day I've ever had. Cookies, certificates, I even found out what the whole nine yards meant. Then, I topped it all off with some 17th century Dutch Art.

Big Time?
Lunch, on the company dime

The non-moss gathering pebble
*I applied for a job in the department I've been temping for six months. Cross your fingers. Cross your toes.
*After work today I figured if I can't exercise, I can at least be a tourist. Post Office Pavilion. April 29th is Ben and Jerry's Free Cone Day.
*Today is Kim's birthday. After 6 years of being pals with her, I finally tried the ketchup and peanut butter sandwich. I guess you're supposed to dip the pb sandwich in the ketchup, but I can't imagine that changes much. It's not as bad as it sounds, but I'll stick to jelly.
*2 games of mini-golf is a nice way to celebrate Easter. Find the symbolism. I can't.

3..2..1..Contacts
I was very pleased yesterday when this statement came out of my mouth, "The worst thing about glasses is when my face hits the ground, THEY FALL OFF!" It's just so true.

7 words, 1 number
Kiera Knightley, Pirates of the Carribean, July 9.

Um. Did I say fondle? I meant caress.

A tale of passion, pain and obsession
At night before I go to sleep, I fondle the inner curves of the disc I keep near my bed. Sometimes I throw in a few scoober fakes to keep my pillow on its toes. When I'm watching TV I hold my disc near or throw it at an unsuspecting chair. During the day, a disc waits patiently in my bag for some attention. And thoughts of Ultimate are never far. I want to tell a girl on my rec team the cut I want her to make and when I want her to make it. I can't get that out of my head. I want to send Chris Royer the explanation of the stack that I just got in my Ultimate Player's Association newsletter. The passion and the obsession are clear then, no? The pain is in my leg. I've decided to take the weekend off in hopes it'll heal. And time stands still. The pain is in my mind.

Word to the wise
If you pass gas and say, "excuse me", that should be the end of it. 10 minutes later you should not seek out the person you passed gas near and explain to them that your "excuse me" was in reference to the earlier gas.

Cat's Cradle is the book I had hoped Closing Time would be.

The more responsibility I'm given, the less I have to do.

Hair today
The baldness has received more compliments than not. Course that could be due to that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Still. It's a satisfactory look. Those of you concerned shouldn't be. I am still lovable and huggable. If you don't believe it, come see for yourself.

Gone to a meeting
I attended my first meeting today. It was an intimate affair. About like you'd expect a meeting to be. I smiled and nodded a lot. That's the extent of my people skills.

Julie, beware
Here are my thoughts on my new shiny Mr. Clean head-
*Eat yer heart out Agassi.
*What am I supposed to run my hand through now? Chest hair?
*Do you feel a draft?
*Finally my beard gets the first shampoo lather and not the leftovers.
*shut up. Stop laughing.
*This is the 4th major hairstyle change in my life: straight, spiked, curly (big and small) and this.
*Please don't hate me Julie

That's me!
If you ever visit Chase's links, you'll see one for the St. Patrick's Day race. I was scrolling through looking for Chase when lo and behold I found me. What the ?? When I looked at the date, I found out that I was there. So everyone can calm down now. No one continues to impresonate me.

Don't tell Hoover
On CNN running headlines at the bottom of the screen today I noticed, "Whenever there's a power vacuum, bad things happen."

I like to chase it down
This Ultimate story in Vox gave me chills.

Spinal Tap Humor
My Rec team is calling itself "Stallin' 11". We were team 11 and we wear red. And stallin' 11 is one better than stalling 10. Sometimes you just need to crank it up that extra notch.

The Land of Oz
I went to Lawrence part of this weekend and I have to wonder: Where else can you see girls dancing on cars? Kisses for $1? Nudity in the streets and bars? Where else can you see 20 old friends and make 20 new ones? Chant "put your f$#@ing clothes on and get the f#$% out!"? Where else can neon cowboys, busty street signs and guys advertising moustache rides coexist? Where else is every evil righted by fish sauce and cleats hang like Christmas tree lights from hotel balconies? Where else is "forced hooliganism" so gosh-darned cute? Where else can you play hot Ultimate with hot guys in the cold wet of April? And where else would a jacuzzi replace a shower?
New Orleans comes to mind, but where else in the Midwest?

It's a fickle thing
After 24 hours of being infatuated with a 17 year-old girl that I'll probably never meet, let alone talk to, I'm starting to tire of it. I guess you can only get so much out of a relationship that consists of tiling your desktop with pictures, reading a brief filmography, and replaying scenes of a movie in your head. Ah well. That won't stop me from seeing "Bend it like Beckham" again, that is if you want to go. And you should.
How can they do that?
It turns out AARP no longer stands for anything. I'm sure they'd disagree with that statement, but it's no longer an acronym. It just is A-A-R-P. That's dumb. I'll make it stand for something. Just give me a sec...