I am not Charlotte Simmons
It doesn't take much to make me miss college. I missed it last night when I polished off dining hall meatloaf. I miss it at 7:54 in the evening when I can't pop out of my door and into a hallway where someone will cheerfully greet me. I miss it when I can't wander a few blocks and find various sports under the lights. I miss the connections, the opportunity, and the potential.

As I read Tom Wolfe's latest with its stylish paperback cover, I missed college. And then 700-some-odd pages later, I didn't. The most frustrating thing about Wolfe's story is that he didn't get it. He certainly captured some of the moments and some of the ethos of bits of university life. I am willing to grant Wofle that university life could be different in a fictional Pennsylvania than it is in the middle of the country. His description of the bar scene was almost poetic in what I see as its accuracy. The problem is that Wolfe's work was almost cliche in numerous sections. He said very little that seemed new and he didn't say it in new ways. Then he repeated himself too much. I am Charlotte Simmons wasn't bad. Even with multiple stints in airport terminals, I don't usually plow through 700- page books in four days, Potter notwithstanding.

What I'm really perturbed about is that this monstrous book about college didn't leave me feeling good the way my memories of college do. Wolfe spent the first half of the book in sensational 11-o'clock-news mode practically warning parents and teenage girls about the dangers of college and boys and the unrelenting quest for sex by both genders, every so often departing slightly to remind us of the mockery of the "student"-athlete. It was crude and exciting, that I'll give Wolfe. When he plunged into his chapter after chapter about depression, it very much depressed me, but it was the resolution of the story that made me most depressed. Wolfe has a leading female character, with "it"- smarts, looks, individuality; and her great triumph is what? Some guy and popularity. I worked 700-pages to get there? Why Tom, why? This isn't a book about high school. I can get a girl meets boy story and a cry in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Come on. That attitude cheats college students and it cheats readers. I expected better.

Wolfe will remain on the list of my favorite authors, but he has officially been passed by Ann Patchett.