A letter to my body
Dear body,

I understand that you are getting on in years and I appreciate that you still look so gosh durn good. BUT FOR PETE'S SAKE CAN YOU STOP WITH THE INJURIES!

I was swimming today. We're talking low-impact. We're talking water. We're talking swimming. And granted, I've been in a bit of mood lately what with another year 'bout to pass, pushing a little harder than I had been when it comes to sports, but SWIMMING. I injured myself swimming. Body, we've never had so many problems before. Are you trying to tell me something? If it's 'slow down' I wish you'd stop telling me that. I don't like hearing it. In fact, if you don't shape up soon, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures. You thought that marathon was painful, let me tell you something body, that was just the beginning. Remember that old shirt with the saying, "What the mind can conceive, the body will achieve?"

Oh, you remember it.

Let's just say that if you don't get your act together, the mind is going to be conceiving of some pretty serious endurance tests.

I don't mean to come off threatening, here, but I'm threatening. I can google a triathlon faster than you can take breath.

Don't think I won't.

Get your act together so we can play some Ultimate or go take a nice brisk run, or get ready for some real pain.

Sincerely,
David