For the articles and the pictures
I don't usually read Esquire. I don't usually look at the pictures. Sometimes I flip through, find out the 10 things I need to know about women and then head right to Real Simple. That's the kind of man I am. Unless...

Unless, Scarlett is on the cover. Unless, she's looking at me all sexy saying in her husky voice "You will read. You will look at the pictures. You will start to melt and be short of breath."

Yes, Scarlett I will.

So I read and I look. I start to melt and be short of breath, when Scarlett's voice returns and says, "I think you should get out more and stop fantasizing about some 19-year old in a magazine."

But, but...

That Scarlett, she's so sage.