Schmoozin' on the river
I hate schmoozing. Hate it. It's worse than small talk. It's small talk multiplied by insincerity to the power of suck-up. Schmoozing, as Wayne and/or Garth might say, "Blows goats."

Today, I had to schmooze on a cruise as our office took a "summer outing." So I schmoozed, or I at least politely nodded while people schmoozed all around. I admit there was a pinch of small talk mixed in, but it was quelled by the schmoozefest. The two worst moments:

1. When a coworker of mine, one I'm fond of, and one that happens to be a fascinating individual gave me the same insincere, "Heyhow'sitgoing?Doingallright?Havingfun?" bit that she was giving everyone else. I think I stared vacantly past her.

2. When the topic turned to Vegas and another coworker, whose vibe I've never liked, started badgering me about interest in the Vegas burlesque scene. What the ???? You don't know me. You don't know how I feel about burlesque. Lay off.

Sometimes even free meals aren't worth the price.