It's a draw in the Squirtle Shoot Out
When my housemate offered up a giant rubberband, I couldn't fight the urge to shoot something. I pulled the band back and then slowly spun around the kitchen. Everything looked fragile, like a picture frame or extremely resistant to rubberband damage, like a refrigerator. Noticing my desperation, the Sandwich removed the picture frame and replaced it with a Squirtle (it's part turtle and part plush.)

I took aim at the poor Squirtle and fired that rubberband right through his plush skull. When I say through I meant off. The poor Squirtle tumbled off the speaker and fell to his first death. Squirtles may be related to cats, because this one came back for more. The Sandwich and I repeatedly took aim at the Squirtle and we sent a volley of rubberbands in his direction, but after that early hit the Squirtle had gained a certain skill at dodging the rubberband fire. After spinning the Squirtle around with one particularly close shot, the Sandwich was able to again knock the Squirtle from his speaker perch. Still the Squirtle battled back to his position of high ground. It reminded me of the War of 1812, or at least that song on the record my dad had about the War of 1812. You know the one, "We fired our guns and the British kept a coming." Sing it! "We fired once more and they began a-runnin' down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico." Only the Squirtle wasn't going anywhere. And we were missing badly. Then we looked at each other and declared that the next one to decimate the Squirtle would be declared the victor. We took aim together and fired those rubberbands. The Squirtle took my band in the chest and as he was reeling from that one, the Sandwich's band finished him off with a brutal blow to the head. We had defeated the Squirtle together and the carriage house would live to see another day of fighting those with severe disadvantages! (Insert Battle Cry) And Singing! WE FIRED OUR GUNS AND THE BRITISH KEPT A-COMING. WE FIRED ONCE MORE AND THEY BEGAN A-RUNNING, DOWN THE MISSISSIPPI TO THE GULF OF MEXICO.