The Thesis statement
Thinking and a Meghan Daum book have transported me to the conclusion that I'm lacking thesises? thesi? thesis statements. Thesis statements were all the rage in grades 5-12. I remember writing down a thesis statement on a notecard and turning that into the teacher. After she had revised it and it no longer contained any words that my thesis had included except for the articles, I could begin research. The theory behind the thesis statment is not unlike the theory behind nuclear power. Oh, it'll go all right, but without direction, who knows where it'll go and who knows what three-eyed beast we'll end up with.

Thesis statements are writing's Zoloft. Words will be off in a corner, all anti-social and lost in their own thoughts, struggling with meaning and then thesis statements will swoop in and suddenly the words get it together. They start communicating again. They're socializing. They're getting on with other words. They form sentences and then complete thoughts and suddenly they're the life of the party. At least until the agitation, constipation, and/or decreased libido kicks in. In that case, it's time to turn to writing's Viagra, the outline, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

The thesis statement has been missing from my writing for too long. (Sounds like a thesis statement, yes?) With no teachers around for revision, this will have to be satisfactory. Satisfactory is an interesting word. It's one part Satis and one part factory. What is a satis? And why does it need a factory? Could I use the factory at night to produce thesis statements? It's possible, but not necessarily supportive of my thesis statement. And if I remember college english which I took in high school, support of the thesis statement is the next step.

What am I trying to say here? I think that's the point and also pointed, like a knife. Only not one of those with a serrated edge, one of the pointy ones.

Which leads me to the conclusion that I may need thesis statements in my writing. Where was that factory?