Thursday, October 30, 2003

It's possible that Clare and I are one and the same. We're like Clark Kent and Superman. I mean, really, have you ever seen the two of us in the same place? (I realize that 3/4 of my readership is now loudly exclaiming "YES!", but that other 1/4 is thinking, "hmmm. now that you mention it..." Please don't ruin it for them, or me.)

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

More signs that I'm getting older
*"Checking out" a woman now involves a look to the ring finger.
*"Checking out" now involves a woman (as opposed to a girl, see.)
*If you ask for my contact information I'll give you a business card.
*I pick up cleaning supplies and side dishes on my commute from work.
*I intend to use said cleaning supplies and said side dishes.
*I have been asked to help out as a "coach" for an Ultimate team because of my many years of experience.
*I listen to NPR more, trust the government less and wonder if I have the proper asset allocation.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

What's the return policy?
There's a "Big Sale" at the tattoo parlor near my house. I was going to check it out but the barbershop with Internet access distracted me.
I can't even spell bischotti
I attempted a roast last night. I'll pretend it's a blur and say I know there was bleeding (uncooked meat''ll do that) and there were nearly tears. There was definitely cursing. I remember the rice had to become an appetizer for the pizza. Eventually I got the hunk of meat done, but by then it was too late. On the bright side, I have a whole roast waiting for me tonight.

Monday, October 27, 2003

Your money or you life? Blog Post April 15, 1948
Did you hear Bing Crosby on the Jack Benny Show last night? Hilarious.
"Your money or your life?" says the robber.
"I'm thinking!" says Benny.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Matter and antimatter
What happens when all your friends get blogs? And they talk about their blogs and the relationships of those blogs and pretty soon blogs become another topic of conversation like politics, or mating or sports. And so in addition to group dynamics you now have blog dynamics. What happens when you realize that reading your friends' blogs is not something you want to do on a regular basis because it turns out that maybe you really didn't want to be in their head because on paper they sound lots different or not different enough or because it freaks you out a little that they really can't remember to eat. How can that be when you're hungry right now and you just ate massive amounts of chicken and biscuits? And maybe it's hard on you because now all of your blog stories are off limits or have significantly less impact because everyone has already read them. Then what? I don't have that much to say usually and so if I blog about something and then don't get to talk about it, what's left?
And what happened to Paul that he would call it weird to meet someone whose blog you read? Which by the way I took as a warning of sorts.
My head probably won't explode, but it's getting closer

Friday, October 24, 2003

The weekend and other grand illusions are here
I'll start a publishing company with Clare and others if need be.
Here's to jobs.
Maybe I should go out for dinner tonight.
Yea. And start work on my Halloween costume.
I'm going to be the best cardboard box Ent ever. this year. in a 2 mile radius.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

The reruns
Please refer to November 25, 2002 7:39 am. I'm still smiling. Also too lazy to link it there.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Grounded
I am on pace to eat ground beef at 7 meals this week. So much for the Time article on eating healthy.
At least I had yogurt for breakfast. AH. More cow!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

this is a broken record
tears don't fall
a broken record
I've heard it all
This is
a broken record
To make a short story long
I've used this and the new expression "Life is Burritoful" (Thanks Chipotle) far too many times in the last 4 days. The funny thing is I almost never manage to make my short stories long. I can barely manage to make my long stories long. I think this is why people figure I'm a good listener. Little do they realize that I'm just trying to string together enough words to make it a "conversation" when they take their next breath.
I'm an ok listener, but Life is Burritoful.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Fate strikes again
For the second time in a year the Ultimate team I left is going to Nationals. Last spring it was Leadbelly of Ohio State heading to Texas and now the Mixed team Flicks of Fury is on its way to Florida. It is hard for me to be too down about this because I know in both cases I did the right thing. I came to D.C. rather than languish in grad school and I quit a team that I didn't enjoy. Part of growing up is making decisions like this. I am a wizened twenty-something unencumbered by the glory of National Ultimate. Or some would say, I am a fool. I can only hope that my opportunities have not passed me by, like so many...Cubs.
Blue is my favorite color
I've got a new GQ work shirt. It's dead sexy. It just looks like 4 other shirts I own if you view it from more than 1.5 meters away.
So come closer.

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Are you in the zone?
(insert pre-teen screams here)
Madonna and Britney Spears have a new song out!
When you combine those two together you get one of the hottest 64-year olds EVER.
You also get little else.
Thought bubbles in my comic strip
-I don't look as good in pictures as I used to.
-Winning isn't everything. Maybe I am just a glory-hungry, selfish Ultimate player.
- My feelings on the kind of book that Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Jesus' Childhood pal was best summed up by the author in the last section when he said that he certainly took some liberties with history to add to the story but for this book he felt it was a good thing to do because he really needed to answer the question, "What would Jesus have been like if he had known kung-fu?"
-I think there is a market for a Real Simple for men. Then again maybe that's just the metrosexual in me rearing its head.
-"You go girl" has lost a lot of its oomph.

Friday, October 17, 2003

My real life and my bloguniverse are on a collision course: An advertisment
Identical cousins is good for a laugh.
Just like therapy is good for all of you practicing psychiatrists.

When you read the title of this post please pronounce advertisment like it is spelled. I think that will add the sophistication that this post might otherwise lack.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

And speaking of family...
AARP and I must be siblings because my parents are retired teachers and AARP's parent is retired teachers (NRTA). Not only that, but I too have the power to make it better. Then again, so do you. Maybe we're all one big family dodging furry twinkies in this zany little game called life.
Come on, let's have a big group hug

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Beware of the Furry Twinkies
Talk about strange emails. My cousin Kelly, who likes to center her emails and use multiple colors anyway, just wrote me an email that involved at least three references to Furry Twinkies. Not just any Furry Twinkies either, these desserts were flying and quite dangerous, I assume by the number of times she told me to DUCK. This might seem especially odd to some people, but I think there is a little furry Twinkie in all my relatives.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Consider
There are over 500,000 people my age (25-34) in D.C. according to USA Today.
75% of men in D.C. are bisexual according to two girls in a bar.
Dancing may prevent the onset of Alzheimers' according to some study somewhere.
I am a better dancer by myself than with a partner according to Kim.

All of that together leads me to believe that I should be able to find someone (man or woman) my age to dance with in this town and if I do, it could make my later years more productive, but if I don't find anyone to dance with I'll dance better anyway.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Dear Silly Boy
Shut up and leave me alone.
You annoy me.

-Love

P.S. Please stop calling me late at night.