Sleek and black and toaster of bread
My toaster will rock your face off. It's not that it does anything particularly different from any other toaster, but it does it with so much style. It's like the tuxedo of toasters. It is the James Bond of small appliances. Blenders literally (and by literally I, like the majority of English-speakers these days, mean nothing to do with literally at all) swoon when my toaster gets plugged in. I've heard them screaming when that little blue "toast" light comes on. It's a Toaster Invansion. Veg-o-matics look like chopped beets compared to my toaster. If my toaster could procreate and find a suitable toaster mate, it would make the hottest little toaster babies of all time. (Hmm. I wonder if anyone is selling toaster babies. I bet they'd be huge in Canada.)

As hot and sexy and incredible as my sleek, little, black toaster may be, it still gets jealous of the Kitchenaid mixer. Now that's a small appliance that's flippin' sweet.

Did I mention that I had some toast last night that really hit the spot? And also that I have no idea what I'd do with a mixer. I'm in a kitchen comfort zone when it comes to the toast.