Every party needs a Poopah
Someone has to sit apart from the group and tear carniverously at the pork ribs, while cornbread crumbs dribble down his beard. Someone who'll wash it all down with lemonade and lick the excess BBQ sauce from his moustache like so many bearded animals. And then with nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing, he'll try to find a way into the conversation when he shouldn't. He'll make the sort of snide remarks he should keep to himself, loud enough to stop the conversation, for a moment, before receiving the shaking head and fluttering eye movements of dismissal. Then our poopah can return to the book he is only halfway perusing or the other conversation he is only one quarterway involved in. This is the awkward exsistence of the Poopah.
As the night wears on, and the laughs around him grow heartier, his strength lessens. At the crossroads of fun and enjoyment, the poopah grabs his coat and bounds offroad to the valley of grump where he can be alone. This particular poopah manages a goodbye, but one that leaves his irksome presence lingering. It is not only the poopah who suffers from this existence, but partygoers everywhere.
Friday, January 23, 2004
The illusion of posting
Sometimes you gotta know when to point people elsewhere-
*So if you've missed the sound of Kella's voice: read this. It's like she read it aloud.
*If you're looking for something to cheer. Try Kristin.
*Need a funny dmv story?
* Wonder who answered all of yesterday's questions? It was Rob. But was it fair Rob or was it dark pensive Rob?
Sometimes you gotta know when to point people elsewhere-
*So if you've missed the sound of Kella's voice: read this. It's like she read it aloud.
*If you're looking for something to cheer. Try Kristin.
*Need a funny dmv story?
* Wonder who answered all of yesterday's questions? It was Rob. But was it fair Rob or was it dark pensive Rob?
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Some questions for you
*Why do Thank-you notes come in packages of 8 and buns in packages of 10?
*Why doesn't Tupperware tout its burping abilities anymore?
*If a stitch in time saves nine, what saves 6 and 1/2?
*How can you feel so alone in a big city and so not-alone in a cabin in the woods?
*Why do the people you love drive you so freaking crazy?
*Who did those stupid Hallmark ads (for the kissing dolls)? And worse who let them?
*Who titles a good book "The Secret History" and expects people to buy it? (Someone wiser than me perhaps, since it was a bestseller.)
*Is there any significance to the fact that my questions involve marketing, relationships, and ridiculousness?
*Where have all the cowboys gone? Deh doo Deh doo dehdoo dehdo
*Why do Thank-you notes come in packages of 8 and buns in packages of 10?
*Why doesn't Tupperware tout its burping abilities anymore?
*If a stitch in time saves nine, what saves 6 and 1/2?
*How can you feel so alone in a big city and so not-alone in a cabin in the woods?
*Why do the people you love drive you so freaking crazy?
*Who did those stupid Hallmark ads (for the kissing dolls)? And worse who let them?
*Who titles a good book "The Secret History" and expects people to buy it? (Someone wiser than me perhaps, since it was a bestseller.)
*Is there any significance to the fact that my questions involve marketing, relationships, and ridiculousness?
*Where have all the cowboys gone? Deh doo Deh doo dehdoo dehdo
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
The best part about the trip
One might argue that the Perfect Pancake Pyramid was the pinnacle of this excursion, but I am going to have to argue for location. Never before have I been able to roll out of bed, layer my clothing, throw my board on my back, and walk to the hill. It was a long half mile up hill, but I found it very satisfying to be heading up just as the sun climbed into the sky. I seemed to be alone, save an SUV or two passing by. I may never board in the backcountry. I'm not even convinced that's something I want to do, but to be able to walk to the snow, snap in, and "shred" was something special. The fact that I had my shoes lashed to my back in my bag and I was able to walk back home that evening after a long day of ripping up that little hill was just icing.
Now, this sounds like a ski trip. And makes my heart pound.
One might argue that the Perfect Pancake Pyramid was the pinnacle of this excursion, but I am going to have to argue for location. Never before have I been able to roll out of bed, layer my clothing, throw my board on my back, and walk to the hill. It was a long half mile up hill, but I found it very satisfying to be heading up just as the sun climbed into the sky. I seemed to be alone, save an SUV or two passing by. I may never board in the backcountry. I'm not even convinced that's something I want to do, but to be able to walk to the snow, snap in, and "shred" was something special. The fact that I had my shoes lashed to my back in my bag and I was able to walk back home that evening after a long day of ripping up that little hill was just icing.
Now, this sounds like a ski trip. And makes my heart pound.
Don’t call it a ski trip
It seems I now take a new breed of vacations. These vacations involve cabins, geographic entertainment, and larger quantities of friends. I am not sure when vacation came to be defined this way. Since I’ve been taking vacations sans parents, vacation roughly translated into piling into a car, driving for 6 or 8 hours and staying in a seedy motel or with friends. If it was a ski trip, we would then drive an hour or more to go skiing. And we would ski. We wouldn’t discuss the possiblity of skiing; we might grumble about the price, but we would pay it and we would be as close to the front of the lift line as we could manage in our already exhausted state.
This revised version of a vacation isn’t like that at all. In this version we all have separate rooms, with our own beds and a kitchen more equipped than our own, or at least my own. There are people, my friends, who don’t plan to ski at all. And some who may or may not ski depending on their mood. This cabin has a view and watermelon knick knacks. I didn’t used to stay in places that had knick knacks, I stayed in places that might or might not have rats. On this vacation the inability to move due to a hard day on the slopes is not our main plan for the evening. It seems that most cabin dwellers plan to be well rested and refreshed all weekend long. We’ll play games, the old-fashioned kind, we’ll read, or we’ll sing loud off-key songs. Even this new version of vacation has its abrasive moments, though fewer than I expected. On this vacation, we’ll cook meals, actual meals like pasta and garlic bread or hot dogs with mac ‘n cheese--not elaborate meals, but meals that did not come from South of the Border or require a lay-away plan. And when the meals are over, people will clean up, not “people”, like housekeepers, or elves, but people who made the meal or who ate the meal.
It’s quite impressive really, but to call it a ski trip doesn’t convey an accurate picture of the experience. We’ll call it a cabin trip, or that “Trip near the hill that had fake snow.” Maybe we’ll just call it fun and relaxing. That seems fairly accurate.
It seems I now take a new breed of vacations. These vacations involve cabins, geographic entertainment, and larger quantities of friends. I am not sure when vacation came to be defined this way. Since I’ve been taking vacations sans parents, vacation roughly translated into piling into a car, driving for 6 or 8 hours and staying in a seedy motel or with friends. If it was a ski trip, we would then drive an hour or more to go skiing. And we would ski. We wouldn’t discuss the possiblity of skiing; we might grumble about the price, but we would pay it and we would be as close to the front of the lift line as we could manage in our already exhausted state.
This revised version of a vacation isn’t like that at all. In this version we all have separate rooms, with our own beds and a kitchen more equipped than our own, or at least my own. There are people, my friends, who don’t plan to ski at all. And some who may or may not ski depending on their mood. This cabin has a view and watermelon knick knacks. I didn’t used to stay in places that had knick knacks, I stayed in places that might or might not have rats. On this vacation the inability to move due to a hard day on the slopes is not our main plan for the evening. It seems that most cabin dwellers plan to be well rested and refreshed all weekend long. We’ll play games, the old-fashioned kind, we’ll read, or we’ll sing loud off-key songs. Even this new version of vacation has its abrasive moments, though fewer than I expected. On this vacation, we’ll cook meals, actual meals like pasta and garlic bread or hot dogs with mac ‘n cheese--not elaborate meals, but meals that did not come from South of the Border or require a lay-away plan. And when the meals are over, people will clean up, not “people”, like housekeepers, or elves, but people who made the meal or who ate the meal.
It’s quite impressive really, but to call it a ski trip doesn’t convey an accurate picture of the experience. We’ll call it a cabin trip, or that “Trip near the hill that had fake snow.” Maybe we’ll just call it fun and relaxing. That seems fairly accurate.
Friday, January 16, 2004
It's a whole new outlook
I've decided to stop living my life for me. From now on, it's all about the blog. If I'm in traffic and I get cut off, I'm going to think, will it make a better post if I shout dirty words or just go ahead and ram the sucker? Instead of doing things for me, I'm going to do them for you. Or at least for your entertainment. Think of me as the "Real World" online. I've dropped the pretense, see. I'm Real with a capital "r", a capital R followed by two small rr's. To Rrreally get things Rrrolling. I think the extra r's add zest, don't you? When I'm faced with the truly tough decisions--I'm going to serve them up like Comment Pie. Haven't tasted Comment Pie? It's a little like jello, but jigglier.
Then, you my readers, can guide me on the right path. I know you're up for it. I can see it in your eyes.
Where are my glasses?
I've decided to stop living my life for me. From now on, it's all about the blog. If I'm in traffic and I get cut off, I'm going to think, will it make a better post if I shout dirty words or just go ahead and ram the sucker? Instead of doing things for me, I'm going to do them for you. Or at least for your entertainment. Think of me as the "Real World" online. I've dropped the pretense, see. I'm Real with a capital "r", a capital R followed by two small rr's. To Rrreally get things Rrrolling. I think the extra r's add zest, don't you? When I'm faced with the truly tough decisions--I'm going to serve them up like Comment Pie. Haven't tasted Comment Pie? It's a little like jello, but jigglier.
Then, you my readers, can guide me on the right path. I know you're up for it. I can see it in your eyes.
Where are my glasses?
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Desolation Row, this isn't
Rue de la Hyperactivite it just might be. It's arts night at the carriage house. Besides finishing a book and posting more than you wanted to know, I have also: sketched a pair of jeans, introduced myself to a new banjo technique (melodic style), tested out my acting ability in preparation for a Murder Mystery Game (Should I be a high-pitched squeaky marginally British old woman or a breathy deep voiced old woman? Neither was particularly good looking.), made myself lunch complete with love note (Dear David, Have a good lunch. Love, David) and managed to find time to dance, sometimes with my banjo and sometimes by myself.
Rue de la Hyperactivite it just might be. It's arts night at the carriage house. Besides finishing a book and posting more than you wanted to know, I have also: sketched a pair of jeans, introduced myself to a new banjo technique (melodic style), tested out my acting ability in preparation for a Murder Mystery Game (Should I be a high-pitched squeaky marginally British old woman or a breathy deep voiced old woman? Neither was particularly good looking.), made myself lunch complete with love note (Dear David, Have a good lunch. Love, David) and managed to find time to dance, sometimes with my banjo and sometimes by myself.
Answer:Question
Last week I read the answer: 42
This week I read the quetion: Why are girls weird? from Why Girls are Weird by Pamela Ribon. The only thing this book lacked was an editorial assistant struggling to be a writer in New York. Pamela did an incredible job of creating a brand new cliche- struggling blogger turned author. (Or online diarist turned author, what's the dif, eh?) It left me feeling much like a stack of Cosmos would-- slight headache, slight case of vapidity creeping into my brain.
I can't fault her for trying. And you'd think that blogs, quarterlife crisises, and boy-girl drama would be right up my alley, but it seems you'd be wrong. There were a few moments of nicely written prose. The ailing father pulled at me a bit and the sisterly banter was good for a laugh.
Still, while I dig blogs, I figure some things are better left unbooked.
Last week I read the answer: 42
This week I read the quetion: Why are girls weird? from Why Girls are Weird by Pamela Ribon. The only thing this book lacked was an editorial assistant struggling to be a writer in New York. Pamela did an incredible job of creating a brand new cliche- struggling blogger turned author. (Or online diarist turned author, what's the dif, eh?) It left me feeling much like a stack of Cosmos would-- slight headache, slight case of vapidity creeping into my brain.
I can't fault her for trying. And you'd think that blogs, quarterlife crisises, and boy-girl drama would be right up my alley, but it seems you'd be wrong. There were a few moments of nicely written prose. The ailing father pulled at me a bit and the sisterly banter was good for a laugh.
Still, while I dig blogs, I figure some things are better left unbooked.
Think warm thoughts
When I feel the cold wind blow through my shoes and thin black socks, I smile and think, "Somewhere in Virginia they are making snow. right now."
Ignore past thoughts
When I feel the cold wind blow through my shoes and thin black socks, I try not to think, "Somewhere west of here, Mother Nature is making snow and she's dumping it on a giant slope."
When I feel the cold wind blow through my shoes and thin black socks, I smile and think, "Somewhere in Virginia they are making snow. right now."
Ignore past thoughts
When I feel the cold wind blow through my shoes and thin black socks, I try not to think, "Somewhere west of here, Mother Nature is making snow and she's dumping it on a giant slope."
Sometimes I feel lonely
Sometimes I don't. Tonight it's the latter. Why? Because I have no clue what I'm going to eat for dinner, but when I decide- I'll have it. No one will argue. No one will complain. No one will say, "Come on, we just had that" or "I don't like that." It will be dinner and it will be mine.
Sometimes I don't. Tonight it's the latter. Why? Because I have no clue what I'm going to eat for dinner, but when I decide- I'll have it. No one will argue. No one will complain. No one will say, "Come on, we just had that" or "I don't like that." It will be dinner and it will be mine.
Monday, January 12, 2004
Icy Anticipation packed with Trepidation
The snowboard is out. The goggles are on. The "Best Ski Resort in the South" is softly calling my name. "Come to my icy hills. Let your board free."
"Yes, Wintergreen. I hear you Wintergreen. Your wish is my command." "But I'm nervous Wintergreen."
"Why? Don't you like to rip?"
"Yea. I'm afraid you might suck."
"I don't suck."
"How do I know?"
"Check out the $52 lift tickets."
"Maybe you're compensating."
"For what? I've got it all- skiing, golf, tennis..."
"All. What about snow? elevation? powder? mountains?"
"When I said all, I meant besides that. I've got 5 chair lifts. One of them even seats all your friends.
"I have more than 6 friends."
"I see you've done your homework. No matter, you won't have that many friends when the weekend is over.
"You're going to kill my friends?"
"No. They'll kill you. Have you ever been skiing with you? It's obnoxious.
"How would you know?"
"Mountains talk"
"You're not exactly a mountain."
"You're not exactly a molehill."
"What? You're not making sense."
"I'm not the one talking to a mountain."
"Shut up. You're not a mountain."
"Is that all you've got?"
"No. I just don't want to hurt your feelings."
"I'm tough. I'm made of stone, you know."
"Funny, I thought that icy exterior might house a softer side."
"It's not exactly funny."
"No. You're right. You're pretty sharp for a land mass."
"Thanks."
"Maybe we should put aside our differences. You know, be friends."
"All right. I'll try. But don't come crying to me when you catch an edge and go flying down the hill, sliding on the ice."
The snowboard is out. The goggles are on. The "Best Ski Resort in the South" is softly calling my name. "Come to my icy hills. Let your board free."
"Yes, Wintergreen. I hear you Wintergreen. Your wish is my command." "But I'm nervous Wintergreen."
"Why? Don't you like to rip?"
"Yea. I'm afraid you might suck."
"I don't suck."
"How do I know?"
"Check out the $52 lift tickets."
"Maybe you're compensating."
"For what? I've got it all- skiing, golf, tennis..."
"All. What about snow? elevation? powder? mountains?"
"When I said all, I meant besides that. I've got 5 chair lifts. One of them even seats all your friends.
"I have more than 6 friends."
"I see you've done your homework. No matter, you won't have that many friends when the weekend is over.
"You're going to kill my friends?"
"No. They'll kill you. Have you ever been skiing with you? It's obnoxious.
"How would you know?"
"Mountains talk"
"You're not exactly a mountain."
"You're not exactly a molehill."
"What? You're not making sense."
"I'm not the one talking to a mountain."
"Shut up. You're not a mountain."
"Is that all you've got?"
"No. I just don't want to hurt your feelings."
"I'm tough. I'm made of stone, you know."
"Funny, I thought that icy exterior might house a softer side."
"It's not exactly funny."
"No. You're right. You're pretty sharp for a land mass."
"Thanks."
"Maybe we should put aside our differences. You know, be friends."
"All right. I'll try. But don't come crying to me when you catch an edge and go flying down the hill, sliding on the ice."
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Introspection Week continues, now with assistance
Kim decided and so far I can't disagree that I am basically made of two people- "Dave" and "Dave's Grandma (DG)". "Dave" is the zanier side and "DG" is the more conservative side. Neither is particularly persuasive, so whoever is in charge sets the tone. For instance if "Dave" is in command on a given day and decides that I need to wear a kilt, no amount of pleading from "DG" is going to talk me out of it. Likewise if "DG" takes charge and decides that I will not be drinking on this particular evening, I have no chance of imbibing anything, no matter what "Dave" or my peers have to say. This theory works remarkably well and manages to explain a good chunk of my behavior. I contend, with Dave and DG's agreement, that occasionally they compromise and something not of the extremes happens. I do not, however, have any idea how Dave or DG takes control on any given day. Back to the introspection...
Kim decided and so far I can't disagree that I am basically made of two people- "Dave" and "Dave's Grandma (DG)". "Dave" is the zanier side and "DG" is the more conservative side. Neither is particularly persuasive, so whoever is in charge sets the tone. For instance if "Dave" is in command on a given day and decides that I need to wear a kilt, no amount of pleading from "DG" is going to talk me out of it. Likewise if "DG" takes charge and decides that I will not be drinking on this particular evening, I have no chance of imbibing anything, no matter what "Dave" or my peers have to say. This theory works remarkably well and manages to explain a good chunk of my behavior. I contend, with Dave and DG's agreement, that occasionally they compromise and something not of the extremes happens. I do not, however, have any idea how Dave or DG takes control on any given day. Back to the introspection...
Friday, January 09, 2004
There has been a lot on my mind lately
I spent much of the last couple of days worrying about why I was worrying about two things.
1. Why do I care if someone goes on a ski trip and doesn't want to ski? I gave this a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that I care because since childhood I tend to bond by doing, through activity. I made friends with the kids who played kickball with me. I didn't know what to do with the kids who didn't. I've outgrown that a little bit, but not as much as I thought.
2.Why am I so worked up about Tequilamock... copyright fight? I still don't know. Maybe it's about soul and it's about motivation. You can't take somebody's soul like that for no conceivable reason. At least if the guy was gonna make a few bucks off the deal I could understand it, still despise it, but understand; but to just out and out steal someone's (or several someone's) words just to impress his mom or something. What the @#%? Obviously I still don't have a handle on this one.
Then last night I found something else to occupy my mind.
FIRE.
I was talking to a friend on the phone and said, "I think there's an alien landing on my street." Then I saw a flash of orange. "No, more like a fire." Some more flashes and a funny humming sound. "I think we're going to get cut off. I'm ok. It's not my house. It's next door. I'll be over soon."
CLICK
The power was out for about 3 seconds. When it came back on I snatched up the phone again and sort of stared at it wondering who to call, since I now saw smoke. I ran over to the bookshelf and grabbed a phone book. I tossed the book aside and called 911. Someone had already called them.
Fire trucks showed up, blocked off the streets, and I left deciding I didn't want to be around if my house was to burn.
It didn't. And today I see no traces of the whole ordeal.
I spent much of the last couple of days worrying about why I was worrying about two things.
1. Why do I care if someone goes on a ski trip and doesn't want to ski? I gave this a lot of thought and came to the conclusion that I care because since childhood I tend to bond by doing, through activity. I made friends with the kids who played kickball with me. I didn't know what to do with the kids who didn't. I've outgrown that a little bit, but not as much as I thought.
2.Why am I so worked up about Tequilamock... copyright fight? I still don't know. Maybe it's about soul and it's about motivation. You can't take somebody's soul like that for no conceivable reason. At least if the guy was gonna make a few bucks off the deal I could understand it, still despise it, but understand; but to just out and out steal someone's (or several someone's) words just to impress his mom or something. What the @#%? Obviously I still don't have a handle on this one.
Then last night I found something else to occupy my mind.
FIRE.
I was talking to a friend on the phone and said, "I think there's an alien landing on my street." Then I saw a flash of orange. "No, more like a fire." Some more flashes and a funny humming sound. "I think we're going to get cut off. I'm ok. It's not my house. It's next door. I'll be over soon."
CLICK
The power was out for about 3 seconds. When it came back on I snatched up the phone again and sort of stared at it wondering who to call, since I now saw smoke. I ran over to the bookshelf and grabbed a phone book. I tossed the book aside and called 911. Someone had already called them.
Fire trucks showed up, blocked off the streets, and I left deciding I didn't want to be around if my house was to burn.
It didn't. And today I see no traces of the whole ordeal.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Crazy
I hate to go back to this and post some more, but the more I think about this the crazier I become. What if someone like this moron is out there stealing my life and screwing it up? Or worse, what if they are stealing my life and doing a better job of it?
I know you're thinking, "trust me Dave, no one wants to steal your life," but...but... they might. And some of you must be thinking "sheesh, I thought when Reuben got back we could return to the witty one-liners and I wouldn't have to read so much. I don't come here to read. I come here for nonsense."
Well this is NONSENSE, it's just taking me longer to get there!
I hate to go back to this and post some more, but the more I think about this the crazier I become. What if someone like this moron is out there stealing my life and screwing it up? Or worse, what if they are stealing my life and doing a better job of it?
I know you're thinking, "trust me Dave, no one wants to steal your life," but...but... they might. And some of you must be thinking "sheesh, I thought when Reuben got back we could return to the witty one-liners and I wouldn't have to read so much. I don't come here to read. I come here for nonsense."
Well this is NONSENSE, it's just taking me longer to get there!
It doesn't stick
With very little ceremony I have changed wallets. The little money I have fit quite snugly. Credit card, bank card, Safeway card, college ID--check, check, check and check. The list of things to do before I die- check. Thirty- someodd of my own business cards? What? Why? I cut that down to a more manageable fifteen, making room for at least another fiver. All right fine, I cut it to twenty. I just wanted to say fiver.
And the last piece to go from the old wallet was a tiny square of tape that had been over the logo for quite some time. Now nearly as brown as the wallet, no trace of "I love you" remained visible, and once removed, I found out no trace of the sticky stuff was left either. I don't remember exactly how it got there. Something about a borrowed set of keys in a res hall mailbox. I doubt she even knew it was there, I forgot a few times myself.
What am I supposed to do with a little brown piece of paper? I hate to throw it away, but it doesn't stick, so I can't really keep it. It doesn't stick.
With very little ceremony I have changed wallets. The little money I have fit quite snugly. Credit card, bank card, Safeway card, college ID--check, check, check and check. The list of things to do before I die- check. Thirty- someodd of my own business cards? What? Why? I cut that down to a more manageable fifteen, making room for at least another fiver. All right fine, I cut it to twenty. I just wanted to say fiver.
And the last piece to go from the old wallet was a tiny square of tape that had been over the logo for quite some time. Now nearly as brown as the wallet, no trace of "I love you" remained visible, and once removed, I found out no trace of the sticky stuff was left either. I don't remember exactly how it got there. Something about a borrowed set of keys in a res hall mailbox. I doubt she even knew it was there, I forgot a few times myself.
What am I supposed to do with a little brown piece of paper? I hate to throw it away, but it doesn't stick, so I can't really keep it. It doesn't stick.
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
My apologies to the frog
"Hardcore Collection" to the tune of "Rainbow Connection"
Why are there so many sites about pornos?
And how much they are to buy.
Pornos for cruisers, but not just losers.
And pornos leave nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Some day we'll find it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the pooorn star
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
And look what it's done so far.
Why does the groaning keep us downloading
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
All the web under it's spell
we know that it's probably tragic---
Have you been half aroused? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the shrill sound that calls to our failures?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something I shouldn't have found.
Someday I'll regret it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
"Hardcore Collection" to the tune of "Rainbow Connection"
Why are there so many sites about pornos?
And how much they are to buy.
Pornos for cruisers, but not just losers.
And pornos leave nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Some day we'll find it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the pooorn star
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
And look what it's done so far.
Why does the groaning keep us downloading
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
All the web under it's spell
we know that it's probably tragic---
Have you been half aroused? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the shrill sound that calls to our failures?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something I shouldn't have found.
Someday I'll regret it, the hardcore collection
the perverts, the psychos, and me.
Monday, January 05, 2004
Thinking. The first mistake.
What is it that makes me think that there must be more? Always more. Five lazy days into a new year and already I'm wondering, "Can this be all there is?" Maybe it can. And why not? Four lazy days into the new year and I was just fine with that. What a difference a day makes, indeed.
This is the problem when I stop to think.
You'll have to excuse me now, I have to get back to my life of distractions.
What is it that makes me think that there must be more? Always more. Five lazy days into a new year and already I'm wondering, "Can this be all there is?" Maybe it can. And why not? Four lazy days into the new year and I was just fine with that. What a difference a day makes, indeed.
This is the problem when I stop to think.
You'll have to excuse me now, I have to get back to my life of distractions.
Sunday, January 04, 2004
45 seconds of service
The local KFC/Taco Bell drive-thru has instituted a new "45 seconds to take your order" policy. I support efficiency, but not at the cost of stupidity. We pulled up to the talking box and heard Barry White or reasonable impersonator say, "Welcome to KFC/Taco Bell where we take your order in 45 seconds". Then the recording cut away and frantic order taker female (FOTF) took his place. FOTF shrilly asked, "CANITAKEYOURORDER?" Hold on, let us look at the menu. "THENBACKUPPLEASEBACKUP". So we backed up because no one was behind us. I couldn't really see the menu anymore, but at least FOTF wouldn't be punished for taking a slow order.
We made our selections and pulled back up to the box. I ordered a Santa Fe Gordita and FOTF replied, "WEDON'THAVESANTAFE. HOWABOUTSUPREME, SUPREME? SUPREME?" I was saying "Baja", but FOTF was too busy auctioning off supreme to hear me. I might have wanted more to eat, but by then I was so unnerved that I couldn't remember what. I think they also promised to have our order out in a minute, but the woman in the window had a much more relaxed approach. I bet they haven't figured out a way to time her yet.
The local KFC/Taco Bell drive-thru has instituted a new "45 seconds to take your order" policy. I support efficiency, but not at the cost of stupidity. We pulled up to the talking box and heard Barry White or reasonable impersonator say, "Welcome to KFC/Taco Bell where we take your order in 45 seconds". Then the recording cut away and frantic order taker female (FOTF) took his place. FOTF shrilly asked, "CANITAKEYOURORDER?" Hold on, let us look at the menu. "THENBACKUPPLEASEBACKUP". So we backed up because no one was behind us. I couldn't really see the menu anymore, but at least FOTF wouldn't be punished for taking a slow order.
We made our selections and pulled back up to the box. I ordered a Santa Fe Gordita and FOTF replied, "WEDON'THAVESANTAFE. HOWABOUTSUPREME, SUPREME? SUPREME?" I was saying "Baja", but FOTF was too busy auctioning off supreme to hear me. I might have wanted more to eat, but by then I was so unnerved that I couldn't remember what. I think they also promised to have our order out in a minute, but the woman in the window had a much more relaxed approach. I bet they haven't figured out a way to time her yet.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Friday, January 02, 2004
Book Review: Horse of a Different Color--Lame.
I really enjoyed Seabiscuit, so I figured I'd give Horse of a Different Color a try. This book focuses on the money and the dumb-luck of the breeder (and author) of Monarchos, Derby winner from a few years back. The author uses self-depricating humor and name-dropping en masse to turn an undoubtedly exciting story into a painful, annoying tale. In a few paragraphs of unwisdom, author Jim Squires mentioned Seabiscuit, only compounding my fury at what this book is not. Instead of interesting characters (although I imagine they were there, Mr. Squires just didn't let us know them), we got names and generalities. Instead of heart-pounding tales of horse races, we got ho-hum descriptions of only two races.
I will admit that there were a few worthwhile pages. I was unaware of the foreign interest in horse racing nor the internal politics of racing and breeding, but I would have rather read that in a short magazine article.
Maybe this book is selling to all the hopeful newspaper editors turned lucky breeder. If that's not you, I'd stay away.
I really enjoyed Seabiscuit, so I figured I'd give Horse of a Different Color a try. This book focuses on the money and the dumb-luck of the breeder (and author) of Monarchos, Derby winner from a few years back. The author uses self-depricating humor and name-dropping en masse to turn an undoubtedly exciting story into a painful, annoying tale. In a few paragraphs of unwisdom, author Jim Squires mentioned Seabiscuit, only compounding my fury at what this book is not. Instead of interesting characters (although I imagine they were there, Mr. Squires just didn't let us know them), we got names and generalities. Instead of heart-pounding tales of horse races, we got ho-hum descriptions of only two races.
I will admit that there were a few worthwhile pages. I was unaware of the foreign interest in horse racing nor the internal politics of racing and breeding, but I would have rather read that in a short magazine article.
Maybe this book is selling to all the hopeful newspaper editors turned lucky breeder. If that's not you, I'd stay away.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
New Year's Day- Start a resolution
1. Stop and smell the flowers-- done. United States Botanical Gardens. Particularly enjoyed the orchids, the cacti, and the trains.
2. The pursuit of happiness and other inalienable rights-- examined. The National Archives is not a crowded place on New Year's Day. I am however worried about that fourth one in the Bill of Rights. I'm not sure I still have privacy regarding my personal effects since they went through two X-ray machines. This erosion concerns me.
3. Do something for you- How about Chili and a milkshake for brunch? Yep-pers.
4. And we're off. Come along, I think it's going to be quite a year.
1. Stop and smell the flowers-- done. United States Botanical Gardens. Particularly enjoyed the orchids, the cacti, and the trains.
2. The pursuit of happiness and other inalienable rights-- examined. The National Archives is not a crowded place on New Year's Day. I am however worried about that fourth one in the Bill of Rights. I'm not sure I still have privacy regarding my personal effects since they went through two X-ray machines. This erosion concerns me.
3. Do something for you- How about Chili and a milkshake for brunch? Yep-pers.
4. And we're off. Come along, I think it's going to be quite a year.
New Year's Eve- Football and Sex
Feeding off the lowered expectations of him and others, I decided that New Year's Eve didn't have to be about expectations and a lot of silliness, it could just be. And be it did. Finding no Tiger fans, I made my way to a sports bar that didn't charge a cover and I watched a telling half while eating. During commercials I watched all the metrosexuals and their high-heeled womenfriends getting ready for the night.
Heading to the only party that had materialized for me, I joined some friends for a quiet viewing of Sex in the City as we waited for the ball to drop. I liked Sex; so much so that I stayed up until 5 am to watch a Season 6 marathon to top off the start of season 5 I'd seen earlier. I'd been told before that I should watch the show, but I guess it took the end of '03 for me to be ready. It does require a certain maturity.
Feeding off the lowered expectations of him and others, I decided that New Year's Eve didn't have to be about expectations and a lot of silliness, it could just be. And be it did. Finding no Tiger fans, I made my way to a sports bar that didn't charge a cover and I watched a telling half while eating. During commercials I watched all the metrosexuals and their high-heeled womenfriends getting ready for the night.
Heading to the only party that had materialized for me, I joined some friends for a quiet viewing of Sex in the City as we waited for the ball to drop. I liked Sex; so much so that I stayed up until 5 am to watch a Season 6 marathon to top off the start of season 5 I'd seen earlier. I'd been told before that I should watch the show, but I guess it took the end of '03 for me to be ready. It does require a certain maturity.
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Let me tell you why life is good
I got yelled at by a volunteer and all the boss said was, "you're going to have to try much harder than that if you want to get fired."
I came home and made my dinner.
I called my friends and talked about the Holidays.
Kim invited me over and I hung out with the Smiths for quite a while. They're better than apple pie.
I came home again and my cousin asked me which Ultimate disc she should buy. Can you hear my heart sing?
I exercised. I'm reading a book that I don't think much of, but it's better than not having a book at all.
My leftovers at lunch were better than dinner last night.
I don't have to wear as many clothes because the housemate is out of town. (FYI: I'm fully dressed in a comfy pair of sweats and a long sleeve T-shirt at the moment.)
My toenails are so happy they have their own happy faces.
My new tie looked so spiffy with my new shirt and my new pants.
I can't sleep, so I have more time to blog.
One more day of '03 and then we're on to '04-- the year of the Dave
I got yelled at by a volunteer and all the boss said was, "you're going to have to try much harder than that if you want to get fired."
I came home and made my dinner.
I called my friends and talked about the Holidays.
Kim invited me over and I hung out with the Smiths for quite a while. They're better than apple pie.
I came home again and my cousin asked me which Ultimate disc she should buy. Can you hear my heart sing?
I exercised. I'm reading a book that I don't think much of, but it's better than not having a book at all.
My leftovers at lunch were better than dinner last night.
I don't have to wear as many clothes because the housemate is out of town. (FYI: I'm fully dressed in a comfy pair of sweats and a long sleeve T-shirt at the moment.)
My toenails are so happy they have their own happy faces.
My new tie looked so spiffy with my new shirt and my new pants.
I can't sleep, so I have more time to blog.
One more day of '03 and then we're on to '04-- the year of the Dave
Monday, December 29, 2003
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Stop the screaming
I met the offspring of one of my best friends tonight. Two undeniably good-looking people produced, not surprisingly, one undeniably good-looking baby boy.
His was not the screaming that I wanted to stop. That would be the other guys. It's strange to say, but Brian's friends, my friends I keep in touch with through Brian, have grown up, but they haven't stopped hurling insults at the top of their lungs. Some things change and some things never do.
I met the offspring of one of my best friends tonight. Two undeniably good-looking people produced, not surprisingly, one undeniably good-looking baby boy.
His was not the screaming that I wanted to stop. That would be the other guys. It's strange to say, but Brian's friends, my friends I keep in touch with through Brian, have grown up, but they haven't stopped hurling insults at the top of their lungs. Some things change and some things never do.
Friday, December 26, 2003
There's something in my eye
My dad gave my mom the runaway Christmas gift hit; he converted old home movies from the 8mm to VHS. So yesterday, I watched as my parents got married, had a son, and had a daughter to the sounds of generic piano music. I watched little David try and steal the spotlight back from his new little sister. It was all very cute and made everyone a little misty, but what got me was a noise my Grandpa A. made.
The film showed one Christmas about 1983, I received a new toy and excitedly raised it up for my Grandpa to see. On the screen he puckered his lips in mock-thrill. In my head I heard the little "Woo" that always used to accompany it. From that point forward I couldn't get the tears out of my eyes. I rememberd the traps that Grandpa S. used to put me in with his feet. It all made me miss my grandparents terribly. My sister asked me if I wished I was a kid again, but I don't. Sometimes I miss that innocence. Little David jumping wildly on the screen Christmas morning, while little Becky rubbed her eyes trying to wake up.
I'm so lucky to be in such a wonderful family. I wish I had more time with my grandparents. I just barely got old enough to appreciate them as they were getting too old to let me. There's something in my eye again. I want to enjoy the time I do have with my parents and my aunts and uncles, who turn out to be real people after all. I'm looking forward to June, when all my cousins (all 4 of them) and I can wreak havoc on some dance floor in Colorado as my sister and her fiance tie that knot.
My dad gave my mom the runaway Christmas gift hit; he converted old home movies from the 8mm to VHS. So yesterday, I watched as my parents got married, had a son, and had a daughter to the sounds of generic piano music. I watched little David try and steal the spotlight back from his new little sister. It was all very cute and made everyone a little misty, but what got me was a noise my Grandpa A. made.
The film showed one Christmas about 1983, I received a new toy and excitedly raised it up for my Grandpa to see. On the screen he puckered his lips in mock-thrill. In my head I heard the little "Woo" that always used to accompany it. From that point forward I couldn't get the tears out of my eyes. I rememberd the traps that Grandpa S. used to put me in with his feet. It all made me miss my grandparents terribly. My sister asked me if I wished I was a kid again, but I don't. Sometimes I miss that innocence. Little David jumping wildly on the screen Christmas morning, while little Becky rubbed her eyes trying to wake up.
I'm so lucky to be in such a wonderful family. I wish I had more time with my grandparents. I just barely got old enough to appreciate them as they were getting too old to let me. There's something in my eye again. I want to enjoy the time I do have with my parents and my aunts and uncles, who turn out to be real people after all. I'm looking forward to June, when all my cousins (all 4 of them) and I can wreak havoc on some dance floor in Colorado as my sister and her fiance tie that knot.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
The story of Casino Santa with commentary
Casino Santa is a recent addition to folklore. While the real Santa has European ties or Coca-Cola ties, Casino Santa has Mob ties.
Like Claus, Casino Santa (C$ from this point forward), comes around once a year. He just happens to arrive 2 nights before the other fat man. Instead of a sleigh, C$ rides in a black Lincoln with tinted windows. Instead of hearing bells, you might hear the holiday peel out and the next day find fresh skid marks. These are all clues that C$ has come for a visit. Look closely at your door and you will probably notice that the lock has been jimmied. Do not leave out cookies for C$; they are not good for his diet. C$ prefers a glass of Chardonay and your silence.
Like the other Santa's, C$ keeps a list. Some historians have called it the "hit list", but authorities will not comment on this accuracy. If you've been good to your word and kept your mouth shut, C$ will leave you some nice shiny casino coins and a pair of socks. The coins are for spending at one of the local casinos, to be supplemented by your last paycheck, of course. The socks are a subtle reminder. They say, "F*(* up, and we'll slide you right into a pair of concrete shoes." Stay on your best behavior and you can wear the socks with little concern. Anger C$ and you will pay the price.
Do not think C$ is an evil man. It is mere coincidence that his intials are an anagram of SIN CAO SATAN which roughly translated means "Come sin with the devil." C$ brings jobs to many of local workers. He gives money to the local schools and he gives riverboats to the local rivers.
You are probably better off if you don't meet C$. If you do happen across him, smile, do not comment on his weight and do not ask why his thugs wear elf shoes. Just smile politely, avoid making deals and leave as fast as possible. As C$ would say, "Merry F-ing Holidays suckers."
Casino Santa is a recent addition to folklore. While the real Santa has European ties or Coca-Cola ties, Casino Santa has Mob ties.
Like Claus, Casino Santa (C$ from this point forward), comes around once a year. He just happens to arrive 2 nights before the other fat man. Instead of a sleigh, C$ rides in a black Lincoln with tinted windows. Instead of hearing bells, you might hear the holiday peel out and the next day find fresh skid marks. These are all clues that C$ has come for a visit. Look closely at your door and you will probably notice that the lock has been jimmied. Do not leave out cookies for C$; they are not good for his diet. C$ prefers a glass of Chardonay and your silence.
Like the other Santa's, C$ keeps a list. Some historians have called it the "hit list", but authorities will not comment on this accuracy. If you've been good to your word and kept your mouth shut, C$ will leave you some nice shiny casino coins and a pair of socks. The coins are for spending at one of the local casinos, to be supplemented by your last paycheck, of course. The socks are a subtle reminder. They say, "F*(* up, and we'll slide you right into a pair of concrete shoes." Stay on your best behavior and you can wear the socks with little concern. Anger C$ and you will pay the price.
Do not think C$ is an evil man. It is mere coincidence that his intials are an anagram of SIN CAO SATAN which roughly translated means "Come sin with the devil." C$ brings jobs to many of local workers. He gives money to the local schools and he gives riverboats to the local rivers.
You are probably better off if you don't meet C$. If you do happen across him, smile, do not comment on his weight and do not ask why his thugs wear elf shoes. Just smile politely, avoid making deals and leave as fast as possible. As C$ would say, "Merry F-ing Holidays suckers."
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Ch Ch changes
I'm home, er, I'm at my parent's house that used to be home. Some of my residue still hangs around, but it doesn't feel like home. It feels smaller. I felt almost claustrophobic wandering around the house this morning. (This comes from a guy who lives in a carriage house). It could be the clutter, I decided. Some of it is Christmas clutter and some of it is sister clutter. The former I could do nothing about, but the latter I picked up and organized a little bit, got some of the clutter out of the living room. When my mom realizes that I picked up things unprompted in her home she will probably have to sit down and gasp for breath. But don't worry, she will survive. It's not like I dusted or cleaned the toilets. I'm not drunk, I'm just a little claustrophobic. (I am not implying that I only clean the toilets or dust when I'm drunk, even though I suspect my mom thinks they occur with the same frequency.)
In an aside I am also trying to avoid the sass that gets me in trouble while I'm here. It's worked so far. So far being the three hours between plane arrival and bedtime.
I'm home, er, I'm at my parent's house that used to be home. Some of my residue still hangs around, but it doesn't feel like home. It feels smaller. I felt almost claustrophobic wandering around the house this morning. (This comes from a guy who lives in a carriage house). It could be the clutter, I decided. Some of it is Christmas clutter and some of it is sister clutter. The former I could do nothing about, but the latter I picked up and organized a little bit, got some of the clutter out of the living room. When my mom realizes that I picked up things unprompted in her home she will probably have to sit down and gasp for breath. But don't worry, she will survive. It's not like I dusted or cleaned the toilets. I'm not drunk, I'm just a little claustrophobic. (I am not implying that I only clean the toilets or dust when I'm drunk, even though I suspect my mom thinks they occur with the same frequency.)
In an aside I am also trying to avoid the sass that gets me in trouble while I'm here. It's worked so far. So far being the three hours between plane arrival and bedtime.
Sunday, December 21, 2003
There are some things I think you need to know
*I sing in the car. I sing in a piercing falsetto-- the higher the better. Sometimes even when I don't need a falsetto, I use the falsetto.
*I talk to Orion. Not the cat in Men in Black, I talk to the constellation. He's been there for me through some lonely nights. He used to hang over my little Colorado town. That's where we began speaking.
*I'm into guilt trips. I don't like them that much, but I use them. My favorite at the moment is, "You'll ruin Christmas."
*I get uncomfortable when someone gets left out, so I lie to people about what I'm doing "this weekend."
*a) I often get caught in those lies and I look like an idiot.
*I like to do things that everybody else isn't. I try not to let that be my only motivation, but it can be a strong one.
*I sing in the car. I sing in a piercing falsetto-- the higher the better. Sometimes even when I don't need a falsetto, I use the falsetto.
*I talk to Orion. Not the cat in Men in Black, I talk to the constellation. He's been there for me through some lonely nights. He used to hang over my little Colorado town. That's where we began speaking.
*I'm into guilt trips. I don't like them that much, but I use them. My favorite at the moment is, "You'll ruin Christmas."
*I get uncomfortable when someone gets left out, so I lie to people about what I'm doing "this weekend."
*a) I often get caught in those lies and I look like an idiot.
*I like to do things that everybody else isn't. I try not to let that be my only motivation, but it can be a strong one.
What is real?-- online book review
If you're a reality TV fanatic, or even if you've secretly seen a few episodes, but refuse to tell anyone, you'll probably enjoy Lizzy Hated Pantyhose. This online novel is well-written and entertaining. It manages to celebrate reality TV even as it pokes fun at the genre. The Tyrant tells us that it's a first draft, but I found that hard to believe.
It has a few dud jokes "you might remember me from such TV shows as..." being the most repeated dud. It starts to drag a little with the introduction of America's Top Model but by that point I had to find out the ending. The main character was a little too versatile for my tastes, but maybe reality TV watchers have a knack for slipping into their favorite shows that I don't know about. My biggest regret about the whole experience was that I couldn't curl up under the covers with my iMac. Online novels are a pain in the eyes, but this one is worth a look.
Don't believe me? Ask Clare.
If you're a reality TV fanatic, or even if you've secretly seen a few episodes, but refuse to tell anyone, you'll probably enjoy Lizzy Hated Pantyhose. This online novel is well-written and entertaining. It manages to celebrate reality TV even as it pokes fun at the genre. The Tyrant tells us that it's a first draft, but I found that hard to believe.
It has a few dud jokes "you might remember me from such TV shows as..." being the most repeated dud. It starts to drag a little with the introduction of America's Top Model but by that point I had to find out the ending. The main character was a little too versatile for my tastes, but maybe reality TV watchers have a knack for slipping into their favorite shows that I don't know about. My biggest regret about the whole experience was that I couldn't curl up under the covers with my iMac. Online novels are a pain in the eyes, but this one is worth a look.
Don't believe me? Ask Clare.
Cruisin' I-60-- Dotopian review and promotion
If you look at the DVD cover and Amy Smart you might think Road Trip. If you look at the rest of the cast you might think Back to the Future (same writer). If you combined the two, Interstate 60 is about what you'd get. It's perfect if you're looking for a comedy that's not too brainy, but has a some quaint social commentary, some great wisdom, "It's inevitable if it happened", and Michael J. Fox, not to mention a few laughs, a couple of surprises, and a happy but predictable ending. Go ahead, take a little trip on I-60 with the top down.
If you look at the DVD cover and Amy Smart you might think Road Trip. If you look at the rest of the cast you might think Back to the Future (same writer). If you combined the two, Interstate 60 is about what you'd get. It's perfect if you're looking for a comedy that's not too brainy, but has a some quaint social commentary, some great wisdom, "It's inevitable if it happened", and Michael J. Fox, not to mention a few laughs, a couple of surprises, and a happy but predictable ending. Go ahead, take a little trip on I-60 with the top down.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
Holiday Oddities
Oddity 1: I made it to the dance floor at the work holiday party yesterday. My Electric Slide went pretty well, but then they asked for some "right foot; left foot; crossover, crossover" jig and it wasn't working for me. A very large woman who had been instructing me became displeased with my performance and began to grab the back of my pants/belt and move me to where I needed to be next. I like a little help, but usually prefer it to stay off my rear end. Intimidated and uncomfortable, I left the dance floor.
Oddity 2: In a bold gesture the party planning committee decided monetary door prizes was the best way to get people to stay for the whole party. Because we had to be present to win, we spent the last 45 minutes to an hour grumbling, "Where's my money?" Holiday spirit out the wazoo.
Oddity 3: DJ peanuthead (not his real hip hop handle) kept calling for all the fellas to get out on the dance floor. I'm not sure he realized that we made up only 25% of his audience. Even if we had all poured onto the dance floor he would still be wondering where we were.
Oddity 4: Never before have I so hoped that a movie would end and yet not ever end. Thank you Peter Jackson.
Sorry tushie.
Oddity 5: Odd is the new word and there are new numbers, but always odd.
Always odd.
Oddity 1: I made it to the dance floor at the work holiday party yesterday. My Electric Slide went pretty well, but then they asked for some "right foot; left foot; crossover, crossover" jig and it wasn't working for me. A very large woman who had been instructing me became displeased with my performance and began to grab the back of my pants/belt and move me to where I needed to be next. I like a little help, but usually prefer it to stay off my rear end. Intimidated and uncomfortable, I left the dance floor.
Oddity 2: In a bold gesture the party planning committee decided monetary door prizes was the best way to get people to stay for the whole party. Because we had to be present to win, we spent the last 45 minutes to an hour grumbling, "Where's my money?" Holiday spirit out the wazoo.
Oddity 3: DJ peanuthead (not his real hip hop handle) kept calling for all the fellas to get out on the dance floor. I'm not sure he realized that we made up only 25% of his audience. Even if we had all poured onto the dance floor he would still be wondering where we were.
Oddity 4: Never before have I so hoped that a movie would end and yet not ever end. Thank you Peter Jackson.
Sorry tushie.
Oddity 5: Odd is the new word and there are new numbers, but always odd.
Always odd.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
E a O 's
Of the 1 restaurants where my sister lives, the interesting ones are listed.
No wonder tourism is so H-O-T.
Of the 1 restaurants where my sister lives, the interesting ones are listed.
No wonder tourism is so H-O-T.
If I was a freak show,
I wouldn't sell many tickets.
Little oddities I have noticed today:
*Generally, I loathe myself on the first 3/4 of my commute home. We're talking all-out "you've never done anything right in your life" loathing. And then it disappears- just like that.
*There may be no such thing as a free lunch, but the three I haven't paid for this week sure were nice.
*It's not my fault. It's the beautiful women.
*Jealousy is an icky pointless emotion as far as I can tell.
I wouldn't sell many tickets.
Little oddities I have noticed today:
*Generally, I loathe myself on the first 3/4 of my commute home. We're talking all-out "you've never done anything right in your life" loathing. And then it disappears- just like that.
*There may be no such thing as a free lunch, but the three I haven't paid for this week sure were nice.
*It's not my fault. It's the beautiful women.
*Jealousy is an icky pointless emotion as far as I can tell.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Good night Ladies
is the other song I know, but here's Bile Dem Cabbage Down.
Have a listen!
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Look Mom! Sound!
is the other song I know, but here's Bile Dem Cabbage Down.
Have a listen!
audio post powered by audblog
Look Mom! Sound!
It's either very important or not important at all
I was happy, but lonely until I got to making my daily blog rounds. Now I'm sorry and reflective. Maybe it doesn't matter what I think, but blog family, DC family, family family, and even the nonreaders, you should all know that I feel very lucky that you're MY FAMILY.
I was happy, but lonely until I got to making my daily blog rounds. Now I'm sorry and reflective. Maybe it doesn't matter what I think, but blog family, DC family, family family, and even the nonreaders, you should all know that I feel very lucky that you're MY FAMILY.
Monday, December 15, 2003
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Merry FAKE Christmas
It's what Christmas is all about, minus the religion...
Last night and today, I had the joy of attending a very merry FAKE Christmas. It included food,
holiday cookies, board games, my DC family and lots of frankincense. I lied-- there was no frankincense. However, there was snow and Christmas songs. We got to sing "I'm dreaming of a white FAKE Christmas". And our dream came true! We also got to sing "I'm dreaming of a Dirty Christmas", but that's a story for another time.
Last night we all cuddled up on the floor to watch "Coupling" as Christmas tradition dictates. Then we fell asleep at 3 in the morning and hoped that the sugar plums dancing would not prevent Santa's arrival. I don't remember exactly how slumber parties and Christmas go together, but I'm sure that even Santa has to sleep.
Lucky for us, Santa did come. He skipped munching on the cookies and I think maybe he brought us bagels and oranges. He didn't cut the oranges though, Rob had to do that. Santa also made us coffee, but it was a bad batch.
Then we opened presents. FAKE Christmas ended, and the children were joyful.
It's what Christmas is all about, minus the religion...
Last night and today, I had the joy of attending a very merry FAKE Christmas. It included food,
holiday cookies, board games, my DC family and lots of frankincense. I lied-- there was no frankincense. However, there was snow and Christmas songs. We got to sing "I'm dreaming of a white FAKE Christmas". And our dream came true! We also got to sing "I'm dreaming of a Dirty Christmas", but that's a story for another time.
Last night we all cuddled up on the floor to watch "Coupling" as Christmas tradition dictates. Then we fell asleep at 3 in the morning and hoped that the sugar plums dancing would not prevent Santa's arrival. I don't remember exactly how slumber parties and Christmas go together, but I'm sure that even Santa has to sleep.
Lucky for us, Santa did come. He skipped munching on the cookies and I think maybe he brought us bagels and oranges. He didn't cut the oranges though, Rob had to do that. Santa also made us coffee, but it was a bad batch.
Then we opened presents. FAKE Christmas ended, and the children were joyful.
Saturday, December 13, 2003
Now there's no reason to ever leave the computer
Ultimate-the computer game.
(It's tough, but not nearly as satisfying.)
Ultimate-the computer game.
(It's tough, but not nearly as satisfying.)
The Amazing 5th Wheel
I found myself feeling remarkably like a fifth wheel last night. Let me state perfectly clearly: "The 5th wheel for me is a very lovely wheel." It means that I am hanging out with four of my fabulous friends. The funny thing about last night was that I wasn't with two couples. I'm very comfortable as a fifth wheel and last night was no different. It surprised me, but I was almost relieved to fall into that role. Odd.
His Majesty awaits his food
I have never had as many managers and waiters speak to me as I did eating at the Austin Grill. I got the wrong order and sent it back to the kitchen. I wasn't even hungry and not the least bit worried about it as my friends began to eat their meals. I had really come to hear the live music. A manager came over and he addressed the table, but he seemed to be looking at me. "It'll be out shortly," he said looking at me. I couldn't figure out why he seemed to be focusing on me. How did he know that I had asked my friends to come to his restaurant. Then as he left I realized he meant my food would be out shortly, not the music.
My food wasn't out shortly, but I didn't care. The Austin Grill cared. Another manager came over and said, "Where's your food?" and then scurried off to take care of it. The first manager soon returned and looked at me horrified. I joked, "It was great. I ate it really fast." He said shaking his head, "I'm sorry. I'll go check on your meal."
Most of the table finished their plates when a waitress arrived with my order. After a single bite that I hadn't chewed, she said, "Is it good?" It had barely had time to hit my taste buds, but I said "yes." It was good. The Austin Special may be the best meal the grill serves.
We listened to Elizabeth McQueen play her live music and I ate. Then I took a bathroom break and when I returned we had lots of free desserts. When the bill came my meal was on the house. Three more people apologized.
Delightful. I think I'm going to get the wrong order every time.
I found myself feeling remarkably like a fifth wheel last night. Let me state perfectly clearly: "The 5th wheel for me is a very lovely wheel." It means that I am hanging out with four of my fabulous friends. The funny thing about last night was that I wasn't with two couples. I'm very comfortable as a fifth wheel and last night was no different. It surprised me, but I was almost relieved to fall into that role. Odd.
His Majesty awaits his food
I have never had as many managers and waiters speak to me as I did eating at the Austin Grill. I got the wrong order and sent it back to the kitchen. I wasn't even hungry and not the least bit worried about it as my friends began to eat their meals. I had really come to hear the live music. A manager came over and he addressed the table, but he seemed to be looking at me. "It'll be out shortly," he said looking at me. I couldn't figure out why he seemed to be focusing on me. How did he know that I had asked my friends to come to his restaurant. Then as he left I realized he meant my food would be out shortly, not the music.
My food wasn't out shortly, but I didn't care. The Austin Grill cared. Another manager came over and said, "Where's your food?" and then scurried off to take care of it. The first manager soon returned and looked at me horrified. I joked, "It was great. I ate it really fast." He said shaking his head, "I'm sorry. I'll go check on your meal."
Most of the table finished their plates when a waitress arrived with my order. After a single bite that I hadn't chewed, she said, "Is it good?" It had barely had time to hit my taste buds, but I said "yes." It was good. The Austin Special may be the best meal the grill serves.
We listened to Elizabeth McQueen play her live music and I ate. Then I took a bathroom break and when I returned we had lots of free desserts. When the bill came my meal was on the house. Three more people apologized.
Delightful. I think I'm going to get the wrong order every time.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Like the magnet?
Attraction is a funny little concept, isn't it? I use some form of it quite often. I saw an attractive woman on the Metro. That's an attractive little car. That movie star is the most attractive of all. What am I really saying? I'm not drawn to the woman on the Metro. I don't feel a pull toward the little car. I do not press my lips against the movie screen (lest they kick me out).
Then when I suddenly feel that tug at my innards like someone is trying to pull them through my rib cage, I remember what attraction is. My friend Rodger always used to argue with me about attractive people. I think what he was trying to say was that calling someone "attractive" isn't the same as calling them "pretty" or "cute" or even "dead sexy"; calling someone attractive is saying that you feel that pull on your innards. It's saying that this person has their own little gravity. It's more like a magnet and less like an adjective.
Attraction is a funny little concept, isn't it? I use some form of it quite often. I saw an attractive woman on the Metro. That's an attractive little car. That movie star is the most attractive of all. What am I really saying? I'm not drawn to the woman on the Metro. I don't feel a pull toward the little car. I do not press my lips against the movie screen (lest they kick me out).
Then when I suddenly feel that tug at my innards like someone is trying to pull them through my rib cage, I remember what attraction is. My friend Rodger always used to argue with me about attractive people. I think what he was trying to say was that calling someone "attractive" isn't the same as calling them "pretty" or "cute" or even "dead sexy"; calling someone attractive is saying that you feel that pull on your innards. It's saying that this person has their own little gravity. It's more like a magnet and less like an adjective.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Everybody needs a mantra for a pillow
Today when "they" came at me with work-related requests that I didn't want to hear I said, "But I saw dolphins from my hotel window." This stems largely from the fact that I saw dolphins from my hotel window.
Keep your receipts
I bought Christmas Gifts that may not be "up to snuff". In a noble display of character, I did buy things that I thought people would want, rather than things I would want if I had the same taste in stuff, even though I resided in their bodies.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful
Please.
It's my parents fault.
Today when "they" came at me with work-related requests that I didn't want to hear I said, "But I saw dolphins from my hotel window." This stems largely from the fact that I saw dolphins from my hotel window.
Keep your receipts
I bought Christmas Gifts that may not be "up to snuff". In a noble display of character, I did buy things that I thought people would want, rather than things I would want if I had the same taste in stuff, even though I resided in their bodies.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful
Please.
It's my parents fault.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Friday, December 05, 2003
Thursday, December 04, 2003
Such great heights
is not only the song stuck in my head, but currently, my favorite song. I am as of yet undecided if I like "the postal service" version or the "iron and wine" version better. Having two versions of a favorite song at the same time on the same CD is wonderous. This must be how people felt when they combinded peanut butter and jelly. And I owe it all to the housemate I hardly see- The Sandwich, not to be confused with peanut butter and jelly.
is not only the song stuck in my head, but currently, my favorite song. I am as of yet undecided if I like "the postal service" version or the "iron and wine" version better. Having two versions of a favorite song at the same time on the same CD is wonderous. This must be how people felt when they combinded peanut butter and jelly. And I owe it all to the housemate I hardly see- The Sandwich, not to be confused with peanut butter and jelly.
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Baby, it's cold outside
If this were the winter of '96, and my buddy Borman lived up the street, this is what you might hear on an after-school phone call.
M: Hello?
D: Hey. It's freakin' freezing. Are we running today?
M: whal, I dunno...
D: Come on.
M: (whiney) but it's cold.
D: So? We want to be good, right? Let's go.
M: I don't know.
(Silence)
M: 10 minutes.
D: See you out there.
Instead it's the winter of '03, and this is the after-work discussion in my head.
D: I should run today.
Mr. Negativity: Why?
D: It's good for me.
MN: So?
D: Um.
MN: It's getting dark.
D: Yea.
MN: Run tomorrow.
D: Yea.
I'm much stronger against a real live Mr. Negativity.
If this were the winter of '96, and my buddy Borman lived up the street, this is what you might hear on an after-school phone call.
M: Hello?
D: Hey. It's freakin' freezing. Are we running today?
M: whal, I dunno...
D: Come on.
M: (whiney) but it's cold.
D: So? We want to be good, right? Let's go.
M: I don't know.
(Silence)
M: 10 minutes.
D: See you out there.
Instead it's the winter of '03, and this is the after-work discussion in my head.
D: I should run today.
Mr. Negativity: Why?
D: It's good for me.
MN: So?
D: Um.
MN: It's getting dark.
D: Yea.
MN: Run tomorrow.
D: Yea.
I'm much stronger against a real live Mr. Negativity.
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Excitement levels
I am not the type of person that gets excited when you first tell me something. I need time to process it. Then slowly, almost like a leaky balloon I begin to let my excitement out.
So when you first ask me, "Are you excited that we're going skiing in 2 months?"
I say, "uh, yeah."
Then what you might not see is the slow leak. First, I replace the "Colorado" on my SKI2BHI bumper sticker with a very homemade "Wintergreen". Then, when I put my Christmas decorations up, 3 of the 5 ornaments are skiing related. When I go outside I smell the air and am a little disappointed when I don't smell snow. How long will I have to wait? And is it snowing in the hills of what Skiing is calling "the best ski resort in the South"? And what exactly does it mean to be the "best ski resort in the South"? Is that kind of like being "the classiest junkyard"?
Do not mistake those last two questions for lack of excitement. I'm a leaking balloon. pfffffffffffff...
I am not the type of person that gets excited when you first tell me something. I need time to process it. Then slowly, almost like a leaky balloon I begin to let my excitement out.
So when you first ask me, "Are you excited that we're going skiing in 2 months?"
I say, "uh, yeah."
Then what you might not see is the slow leak. First, I replace the "Colorado" on my SKI2BHI bumper sticker with a very homemade "Wintergreen". Then, when I put my Christmas decorations up, 3 of the 5 ornaments are skiing related. When I go outside I smell the air and am a little disappointed when I don't smell snow. How long will I have to wait? And is it snowing in the hills of what Skiing is calling "the best ski resort in the South"? And what exactly does it mean to be the "best ski resort in the South"? Is that kind of like being "the classiest junkyard"?
Do not mistake those last two questions for lack of excitement. I'm a leaking balloon. pfffffffffffff...
Monday, December 01, 2003
Kansas City here I come
I just got back to the District, I know. However, I am now excited about the 27th of December. On that day I will get to meet the new son of Brian and Amanda. I've been friends with Brian since third grade. We created Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle animations using BASIC on an Apple II E. We traded baseball cards. We played street football. We stayed up late. We got in fights. We played tackle Hide 'n' go seek. We talked about everything, as long as everything included sports. We walked to school together. We played video games together. We wrote, produced and starred in a short movie. We went to high school. We went skiing. We imagined a fantasy ski resort called, "Davidsucks" We made different friends. We saw each other less. I ran fast, he hit homeruns. We still talked about everything. We watched football on TV. He got a girlfriend. I went to college. He hit more homeruns. I hurt everything you could hurt below my waist. We played poker with his friends that adopted me when I was home. He came to college. He lived clear on the other side of campus. I had new friends. He made new friends. He was a genius. Once and a while we would meet for a meal. We'd talk about everything. He transferred. He found God. I stayed.
Once a month, once every two months, I'd hear from him. We'd see each other in KC or stop by one campus or the other. We could still talk about everything, but we didn't have to. Now we could talk about anything. I graduated. I didn't get a job. He tried to talk some sense into me. He fell in love. I got a job. He graduated. He had an engagement party. I met his friends. They ruled. He got married. It was beautiful in every sense of the word. He moved to Florida. I wandered about. I moved to DC. I knew he was around. He encouraged me when I was down to the last dimes. I stayed in DC with a job. He had a kid. He disappeared. He reappeared. He is the best.
I just got back to the District, I know. However, I am now excited about the 27th of December. On that day I will get to meet the new son of Brian and Amanda. I've been friends with Brian since third grade. We created Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle animations using BASIC on an Apple II E. We traded baseball cards. We played street football. We stayed up late. We got in fights. We played tackle Hide 'n' go seek. We talked about everything, as long as everything included sports. We walked to school together. We played video games together. We wrote, produced and starred in a short movie. We went to high school. We went skiing. We imagined a fantasy ski resort called, "Davidsucks" We made different friends. We saw each other less. I ran fast, he hit homeruns. We still talked about everything. We watched football on TV. He got a girlfriend. I went to college. He hit more homeruns. I hurt everything you could hurt below my waist. We played poker with his friends that adopted me when I was home. He came to college. He lived clear on the other side of campus. I had new friends. He made new friends. He was a genius. Once and a while we would meet for a meal. We'd talk about everything. He transferred. He found God. I stayed.
Once a month, once every two months, I'd hear from him. We'd see each other in KC or stop by one campus or the other. We could still talk about everything, but we didn't have to. Now we could talk about anything. I graduated. I didn't get a job. He tried to talk some sense into me. He fell in love. I got a job. He graduated. He had an engagement party. I met his friends. They ruled. He got married. It was beautiful in every sense of the word. He moved to Florida. I wandered about. I moved to DC. I knew he was around. He encouraged me when I was down to the last dimes. I stayed in DC with a job. He had a kid. He disappeared. He reappeared. He is the best.
Sunday, November 30, 2003
It's all about the people
There were some people I met in college and they continue to be some of the best people in all the land. It's hard to believe that I could meet such a high concentration of people in the middle of Missouri (especially hard to believe if you live on the East Coast and think that Missouri is a cornfield.) But I did meet a great group of people there and tonight I got to visit with the Adrian,Chris, Kristin, Sarah, Tom, Kella variety. And I love them.
Theories on space and smiling at strangers
After being in the Midwest for 4 days, it occurs to me that there is a lot more space here -- space between cars on the roads, space between houses, space between people shopping. I wonder if this space translates into friendliness. My theory is that because people have enough space to function, because their comfort bubble is not constantly being invaded, they are more welcoming to strangers.
Why do I antagonize my mother?
That's it. I don't know. I'm hoping you do.
There were some people I met in college and they continue to be some of the best people in all the land. It's hard to believe that I could meet such a high concentration of people in the middle of Missouri (especially hard to believe if you live on the East Coast and think that Missouri is a cornfield.) But I did meet a great group of people there and tonight I got to visit with the Adrian,Chris, Kristin, Sarah, Tom, Kella variety. And I love them.
Theories on space and smiling at strangers
After being in the Midwest for 4 days, it occurs to me that there is a lot more space here -- space between cars on the roads, space between houses, space between people shopping. I wonder if this space translates into friendliness. My theory is that because people have enough space to function, because their comfort bubble is not constantly being invaded, they are more welcoming to strangers.
Why do I antagonize my mother?
That's it. I don't know. I'm hoping you do.
Friday, November 28, 2003
Oy Seuss heirs
What was that?
Cat in the Hat?
More like an SNL skit,
a giant 2 hour bit.
(1 hour and some change,
still long and strange.)
Mike Myers tried much
and the designers had touch.
There were some giggles
and cute childish wiggles,
but for all the colors, bright and shiny
the movie left me sadly whiney.
The plot was less than twisted.
The jokes I must have missted.
Elementary teachers on the other hand,
laughed so hard they split a gland.
They can't wait for friends to tell,
and now I know why the tie-ins sell.
What was that?
Cat in the Hat?
More like an SNL skit,
a giant 2 hour bit.
(1 hour and some change,
still long and strange.)
Mike Myers tried much
and the designers had touch.
There were some giggles
and cute childish wiggles,
but for all the colors, bright and shiny
the movie left me sadly whiney.
The plot was less than twisted.
The jokes I must have missted.
Elementary teachers on the other hand,
laughed so hard they split a gland.
They can't wait for friends to tell,
and now I know why the tie-ins sell.
Thursday, November 27, 2003
The thankful post
Happy Thanksgiving friends.
I give thanks for-
DSL,
my family,
my friends who help me survive in DC,
and my friends who don't.
sweet potatoes, bike rides with my dad,
grandmas,crisp winter air, snow,
ski trips, business trips, any kind of trips.
Naugahyde, table legs that fit like a charm,
health- yours and mine,
Reuben's cooking, my ability to not burn down the house,
Christmas shopping, town decorations,
pretty girls, public transportation, a job with variety, coworkers that I like and respect,
paychecks and bonuses, creativity, movies that don't suck, etc. etc. etc.
Happy Thanksgiving friends.
I give thanks for-
DSL,
my family,
my friends who help me survive in DC,
and my friends who don't.
sweet potatoes, bike rides with my dad,
grandmas,crisp winter air, snow,
ski trips, business trips, any kind of trips.
Naugahyde, table legs that fit like a charm,
health- yours and mine,
Reuben's cooking, my ability to not burn down the house,
Christmas shopping, town decorations,
pretty girls, public transportation, a job with variety, coworkers that I like and respect,
paychecks and bonuses, creativity, movies that don't suck, etc. etc. etc.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
There's a thankful post coming
but for now please endure my momentary and passing disappointment with my existence-
I have not as of yet:
run faster than 4:17.97 over 1600 meters,
become a drummer,
written anything other than this ridiculous blog,
befriended new people in D.C. (a few, but this is my list, not yours),
been to Ben's Chili Bowl,
"worked on my resume",
followed my dream--found my dream for that matter,
taken a shower today,
kicked any bad habits,
lived this day like it was my last,
crowd-surfed,
taken a ride in a hot air balloon,
learned another banjo song,
finished this list.
but for now please endure my momentary and passing disappointment with my existence-
I have not as of yet:
run faster than 4:17.97 over 1600 meters,
become a drummer,
written anything other than this ridiculous blog,
befriended new people in D.C. (a few, but this is my list, not yours),
been to Ben's Chili Bowl,
"worked on my resume",
followed my dream--found my dream for that matter,
taken a shower today,
kicked any bad habits,
lived this day like it was my last,
crowd-surfed,
taken a ride in a hot air balloon,
learned another banjo song,
finished this list.
Watching the animals
An octupus huddle over her unfertilized eggs,
a cheetah stumble on a rock,
a silverback turn around and glare,
a tiger leap onto and over a wall,
a serval stalk,
children sulk,
an elephant scold,
a panda munch,
and a woman pound on the glass because the ape was rude.
Sure lady, the ape was rude.
Free zoos on chilly November days are very different from the field trips I remember-- lonelier, quieter, and colder.
An octupus huddle over her unfertilized eggs,
a cheetah stumble on a rock,
a silverback turn around and glare,
a tiger leap onto and over a wall,
a serval stalk,
children sulk,
an elephant scold,
a panda munch,
and a woman pound on the glass because the ape was rude.
Sure lady, the ape was rude.
Free zoos on chilly November days are very different from the field trips I remember-- lonelier, quieter, and colder.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
It almost makes me thirsty thinking about it
Two guys should not have so many stylish drinking glasses. Do I drink from the classy square glass glasses? or the kitchy green goblets? or perhaps the juice glasses with the cute little frog patch? or maybe my dear departed grandma's liquor tumblers? Are those really tumblers, anyway? No? How about the minty green bathroom cups or a good old Shakespeare's cup? A mug is more your style? Big, blue and outdoorsy or delicate and glass?
Two guys should not have so many stylish drinking glasses. Do I drink from the classy square glass glasses? or the kitchy green goblets? or perhaps the juice glasses with the cute little frog patch? or maybe my dear departed grandma's liquor tumblers? Are those really tumblers, anyway? No? How about the minty green bathroom cups or a good old Shakespeare's cup? A mug is more your style? Big, blue and outdoorsy or delicate and glass?
Support your friendly local farm
wafflemakers.
Maybe Julie didn't realize I was kidding. Then again, maybe I too will donate to julieloveswaffles@hotmail.com. Just because farm-animal shaped waffles sound so gooooood.
wafflemakers.
Maybe Julie didn't realize I was kidding. Then again, maybe I too will donate to julieloveswaffles@hotmail.com. Just because farm-animal shaped waffles sound so gooooood.
Monday, November 24, 2003
You remember lust, don't you?
It rattles around in your brain distracting you from the task at hand. It makes life a little more difficult. You can't quite concentrate on your meal because someone's hand moved 6 cm in your direction. You know- lust. It replaces conversation starters like "how's the weather?" "how are you?" and "hi" with "make-out with me" "Yes, we can cuddle" and "hmm. soft lips." LUST. It makes you just a little crazier than you already were and when you try to avoid it, it just stores itself up so it can hit you even harder the next time.
There you go. Now you remember.
It rattles around in your brain distracting you from the task at hand. It makes life a little more difficult. You can't quite concentrate on your meal because someone's hand moved 6 cm in your direction. You know- lust. It replaces conversation starters like "how's the weather?" "how are you?" and "hi" with "make-out with me" "Yes, we can cuddle" and "hmm. soft lips." LUST. It makes you just a little crazier than you already were and when you try to avoid it, it just stores itself up so it can hit you even harder the next time.
There you go. Now you remember.
Sunday, November 23, 2003
A bar is a bar
Never having been to a "gay bar" before, I figured it would be a strange, even unsettling experience. Not so, my friend. I observed the dance floor for quite a while and saw the same old things- guys pushed up against the walls just kind of leering, guys who obviously wanted to be on the dance floor but were too scared to ask, couples that looked good together, and couples that looked silly. It was all quite familiar. As a bar it still smelled like smoke and alcohol. The only strange part was that at this bar I felt no pressure. There was no one I wanted to dance with. Half the women there were drag queens and the other four weren't my type.
I'm not comfortable in the bar scene, but I was less uncomfortable at this bar than most I've visited. I was still too intimidated to karaoke. One new thing at a time...
Never having been to a "gay bar" before, I figured it would be a strange, even unsettling experience. Not so, my friend. I observed the dance floor for quite a while and saw the same old things- guys pushed up against the walls just kind of leering, guys who obviously wanted to be on the dance floor but were too scared to ask, couples that looked good together, and couples that looked silly. It was all quite familiar. As a bar it still smelled like smoke and alcohol. The only strange part was that at this bar I felt no pressure. There was no one I wanted to dance with. Half the women there were drag queens and the other four weren't my type.
I'm not comfortable in the bar scene, but I was less uncomfortable at this bar than most I've visited. I was still too intimidated to karaoke. One new thing at a time...
Saturday, November 22, 2003
Thanks, Sweden
Trying to fuse function, style and wackiness is no easy task. And once again, I think I have managed to just miss. With a little help from IKEA I have raised my "Star Trek coffee table" to the level (figuratively and literally) of "Star Trek kitchen table". Slide a couple of green naugahyde chairs under the "wings" and you've got yourself a regular funky kitchen. I can't stop there, so I have also placed the famous green naugahyde "Ultra-Lounge" couch along the wall and added the bright pink afghan for additional style points. It is both hideous and beautiful. The wall cries out for some green/brown/yellow 70s wall art.
I would also like to thank my carriage housemate Reuben for putting up with my eccentric tastes.
Trying to fuse function, style and wackiness is no easy task. And once again, I think I have managed to just miss. With a little help from IKEA I have raised my "Star Trek coffee table" to the level (figuratively and literally) of "Star Trek kitchen table". Slide a couple of green naugahyde chairs under the "wings" and you've got yourself a regular funky kitchen. I can't stop there, so I have also placed the famous green naugahyde "Ultra-Lounge" couch along the wall and added the bright pink afghan for additional style points. It is both hideous and beautiful. The wall cries out for some green/brown/yellow 70s wall art.
I would also like to thank my carriage housemate Reuben for putting up with my eccentric tastes.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
'Tis November
the month of dotopian birth and the year anniversary of making a decent wage at the AARP. That 11th month filled with love and heartbreak often in the same instant. This November I'm returning to KC for some turkey, so if you live there and you're going to be around that weekend of the Pilgrims and Indians and sweet potatoes perhaps we could get together and hug and say, "my, it's been far too long since I saw you last. You look great. I'm glad to see you're so happy. Let's frolic."
the month of dotopian birth and the year anniversary of making a decent wage at the AARP. That 11th month filled with love and heartbreak often in the same instant. This November I'm returning to KC for some turkey, so if you live there and you're going to be around that weekend of the Pilgrims and Indians and sweet potatoes perhaps we could get together and hug and say, "my, it's been far too long since I saw you last. You look great. I'm glad to see you're so happy. Let's frolic."
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Post-It Notes of Quotes
In my stuff I found the following quotes:
-Love. A papercut on my heart. alexander
-We are never so defenceless against suffering as when we love, never so helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our loved object or its love. freud
-Love is desire for possessions. Courtship is combat, mating is mastery. nietzche
-Love is expensive and it's free. fastball
-Love is Happy Poison. ball
-I found what I don't care about, and it's everything. dalke
In my stuff I found the following quotes:
-Love. A papercut on my heart. alexander
-We are never so defenceless against suffering as when we love, never so helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our loved object or its love. freud
-Love is desire for possessions. Courtship is combat, mating is mastery. nietzche
-Love is expensive and it's free. fastball
-Love is Happy Poison. ball
-I found what I don't care about, and it's everything. dalke
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Had pie been delivered to my door,
my 5 p.m. prayers would've been answered.
Julie, people. Not Kiera.
my 5 p.m. prayers would've been answered.
Julie, people. Not Kiera.
At least I can make her eyes twinkle
I may have been a touch disappointed by the photo gallery at loveactually.com but the twinkling made it ok.
I may have been a touch disappointed by the photo gallery at loveactually.com but the twinkling made it ok.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Go on. Have a sip.
Better than a bourbon and sassier than sassafrass, she's joined the masses- It's time for a refreshing spoonful of Temporary Wisdom. I need it on your link list ASAP, so I can get my dose everyday.
Better than a bourbon and sassier than sassafrass, she's joined the masses- It's time for a refreshing spoonful of Temporary Wisdom. I need it on your link list ASAP, so I can get my dose everyday.
Two lovely thumbs up
I liked Love Actually.
After all it had,
-Kiera. Ah Kiera. So beautiful. So British.
-Hugh grant dancing.
-Romance
-love
-heartbreak
-ridiculously cute children
-a brilliant cast
-laughs
-cute women in addition to the aforementioned Knightley.
-very funny, charming blokes.
-I think she starred in Pirates of the.... and Bend it like...someone
What? I'm not biased.
I liked Love Actually.
After all it had,
-Kiera. Ah Kiera. So beautiful. So British.
-Hugh grant dancing.
-Romance
-love
-heartbreak
-ridiculously cute children
-a brilliant cast
-laughs
-cute women in addition to the aforementioned Knightley.
-very funny, charming blokes.
-I think she starred in Pirates of the.... and Bend it like...someone
What? I'm not biased.
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
Last of the Mohicans got me thinking that I want to love passionately and die honorably.
Instead I am going to blog obsessively and cry the tears that don't fall.
The sound of taking the stairs as fast as you can is one of the best sounds in the world. You get that rhythm going thump, thumpthumpthumpthump......thump, thumpthumpthumpthump......thumpding, thumpthumpthumpthump... with gaps when you jump the last two steps and the occasional ring of a whacked banister. It feels so good to just attack the descent. You really start to feel it in your quads and shins and your little wingtips are smacking the steps as fast as they can go. And even if it hurts a little bit, you don't care because not only are you getting somewhere fast, but you're doing it with child-like zeal.
Instead I am going to blog obsessively and cry the tears that don't fall.
The sound of taking the stairs as fast as you can is one of the best sounds in the world. You get that rhythm going thump, thumpthumpthumpthump......thump, thumpthumpthumpthump......thumpding, thumpthumpthumpthump... with gaps when you jump the last two steps and the occasional ring of a whacked banister. It feels so good to just attack the descent. You really start to feel it in your quads and shins and your little wingtips are smacking the steps as fast as they can go. And even if it hurts a little bit, you don't care because not only are you getting somewhere fast, but you're doing it with child-like zeal.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Old man sitting on the front porch
In my day we didn't have weblogs. We used journals and we only wrote in them when we had something to say. None of this willy-nilly sissy stuff about feelings and the like. Why, I bet Thomas Jefferson is rolling over in his grave with you kids and your pursuit of happiness. When I was young if we wanted happiness, we WORKED FOR IT. It didn't come on a stinkin' silver platter. You kids today are so spoiled with your DSL and your fancy smancy Interent. If Al Gore was dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave knowing what you've done to the web. Your high speed access doesn't impress me a lick. Why you just waste more time in more places without tying up the phone lines. When I was a kid we could tie up the phone lines for 15 minutes and that was that. We weren't carrying on with our abbreviated "Instant Message conversations" or our "electronic mail". We got mail the old fashioned way- never at all, unless Grandma sent us a card by the U.S. Postal Service. And we got our phone calls at one number because that's all anybody had. And people memorized those numbers. So, DO NOT think for a moment that I am about to abandon the "wire" phone, as NPR has taken to calling the good old fashioned phone service. I don't care what number you can put with your cell phone; I don't want one of those dadgummed things flubbin' up my life. If you can't get in touch with me, maybe you should just wait . I'm bound to come home sometime. That's what we used to do and we got along just fine. Better than fine, because we didn't have all those silly people chattering to themselves on our streets, or if we did we knew they belonged at the asylum. (grumble, grumble, grumble.)
In my day we didn't have weblogs. We used journals and we only wrote in them when we had something to say. None of this willy-nilly sissy stuff about feelings and the like. Why, I bet Thomas Jefferson is rolling over in his grave with you kids and your pursuit of happiness. When I was young if we wanted happiness, we WORKED FOR IT. It didn't come on a stinkin' silver platter. You kids today are so spoiled with your DSL and your fancy smancy Interent. If Al Gore was dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave knowing what you've done to the web. Your high speed access doesn't impress me a lick. Why you just waste more time in more places without tying up the phone lines. When I was a kid we could tie up the phone lines for 15 minutes and that was that. We weren't carrying on with our abbreviated "Instant Message conversations" or our "electronic mail". We got mail the old fashioned way- never at all, unless Grandma sent us a card by the U.S. Postal Service. And we got our phone calls at one number because that's all anybody had. And people memorized those numbers. So, DO NOT think for a moment that I am about to abandon the "wire" phone, as NPR has taken to calling the good old fashioned phone service. I don't care what number you can put with your cell phone; I don't want one of those dadgummed things flubbin' up my life. If you can't get in touch with me, maybe you should just wait . I'm bound to come home sometime. That's what we used to do and we got along just fine. Better than fine, because we didn't have all those silly people chattering to themselves on our streets, or if we did we knew they belonged at the asylum. (grumble, grumble, grumble.)
Monday, November 10, 2003
Post script in blogger becomes a pre script
I like my 'rents. I'm excited to see them. I'm just nervous. He's nervous and he's got New York City. I've just got the D of C. Which is slighty more exotic than the KC, but not much under my direction. I would like to get to the Escalator and moving sidewalk exhibit. I hear it rises above expectations and whisks you to new heights. I did hear that some of the sections were downers, however, I'm sure it is all quite moving.
I like my 'rents. I'm excited to see them. I'm just nervous. He's nervous and he's got New York City. I've just got the D of C. Which is slighty more exotic than the KC, but not much under my direction. I would like to get to the Escalator and moving sidewalk exhibit. I hear it rises above expectations and whisks you to new heights. I did hear that some of the sections were downers, however, I'm sure it is all quite moving.
Sunday, November 09, 2003
What should we do?
If you deal in people, you've probably had some variation of the "What should we do?" conversation. I find that one of three things usually happen at the end of this conversation.
1. One person is really happy with the answer.
2. Everyone is at least sort of agreeable to the answer.
3. No one is happy with the answer.
Last night, after a long and not too wordy debate, the answer to the above question was, "Watch something."
But what? After going through the video/dvd collection the parties involved were able to narrow the field down to 4 finalists. In no particular order we agreed that we would be willing to watch one of these:
-Coming to America
-Notting Hill
-Pulp Fiction
-Buffy, some episode(s) of the first 4 seasons
We found the variety to be quite amusing.
If you deal in people, you've probably had some variation of the "What should we do?" conversation. I find that one of three things usually happen at the end of this conversation.
1. One person is really happy with the answer.
2. Everyone is at least sort of agreeable to the answer.
3. No one is happy with the answer.
Last night, after a long and not too wordy debate, the answer to the above question was, "Watch something."
But what? After going through the video/dvd collection the parties involved were able to narrow the field down to 4 finalists. In no particular order we agreed that we would be willing to watch one of these:
-Coming to America
-Notting Hill
-Pulp Fiction
-Buffy, some episode(s) of the first 4 seasons
We found the variety to be quite amusing.
Friday, November 07, 2003
It's a wacked out exercise in dotopian demographics
This forward has been making the rounds recently. It's a little twist on the old "tell me about you" email; it's a tell me about me email. I'm throwing in a Twist on top of the twist because that's what I do. I'm not sure it makes any sense, but the twist is that I'm going to tell you, Do Topia reader, about yourself-- but I'm skipping some of the questions, you'll have to fill those in yourself.
1. name:
2. Where did we meet? College, unless you are my aunt or Kristin's mom and then I'm not sure where we met.
3. Take a stab at my middle name: Ann- that should cover a couple.
4. How long have you known me? 6 years or less; or 25 years if you are my aunt.
5. When is the last time we saw each other? Yesterday or about 1.5 years ago- that covers most of you.
6. Do I smoke? No.
7. Do I believe in God? Mostly
8. When you first saw me what was your impression? That's the best looking/hottest/funkiest/coolest/wackiest person I've ever seen. I want to be his/her friend.
9. Month of my Birthday? November 8th if you're The Royer. Is that right? Shouldn't someone call him?
10. Color hair? mostly brown
11. Color eyes? blue
12. Do I have any siblings? yes, unless you are Kristin or the birthday boy.
13. Have you ever had a crush on me? um YEA!
14. Have you ever been jealous of me? just a little.
15. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors? Throw the disc with Dave.
16. What's one of my fav. things to do indoors? cuddle up with Dave.
17. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to
you? "Hi"
18. What's my favorite type of music? loud
There were more questions, but I'm bored with this exercise. I'm quitting now. You're welcome.
This forward has been making the rounds recently. It's a little twist on the old "tell me about you" email; it's a tell me about me email. I'm throwing in a Twist on top of the twist because that's what I do. I'm not sure it makes any sense, but the twist is that I'm going to tell you, Do Topia reader, about yourself-- but I'm skipping some of the questions, you'll have to fill those in yourself.
1. name:
2. Where did we meet? College, unless you are my aunt or Kristin's mom and then I'm not sure where we met.
3. Take a stab at my middle name: Ann- that should cover a couple.
4. How long have you known me? 6 years or less; or 25 years if you are my aunt.
5. When is the last time we saw each other? Yesterday or about 1.5 years ago- that covers most of you.
6. Do I smoke? No.
7. Do I believe in God? Mostly
8. When you first saw me what was your impression? That's the best looking/hottest/funkiest/coolest/wackiest person I've ever seen. I want to be his/her friend.
9. Month of my Birthday? November 8th if you're The Royer. Is that right? Shouldn't someone call him?
10. Color hair? mostly brown
11. Color eyes? blue
12. Do I have any siblings? yes, unless you are Kristin or the birthday boy.
13. Have you ever had a crush on me? um YEA!
14. Have you ever been jealous of me? just a little.
15. What's one of my favorite things to do outdoors? Throw the disc with Dave.
16. What's one of my fav. things to do indoors? cuddle up with Dave.
17. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to
you? "Hi"
18. What's my favorite type of music? loud
There were more questions, but I'm bored with this exercise. I'm quitting now. You're welcome.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Televised? I can't even find the revolution.
I was to see the Matrix Revolution tonight. I was looking for resolution to the revolution. I didn't make it. I went to the wrong theater, and then when I realized it was the wrong theater I went toward the right one, but couldn't find it. I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 on a movie I still haven't seen. What with Metro rides, phone calls, tickets, and food I might as well have downloaded it off the Internet and then paid a lawyer for defense against those anti file-sharing people. Now that would've been revolutionary.
I was to see the Matrix Revolution tonight. I was looking for resolution to the revolution. I didn't make it. I went to the wrong theater, and then when I realized it was the wrong theater I went toward the right one, but couldn't find it. I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 on a movie I still haven't seen. What with Metro rides, phone calls, tickets, and food I might as well have downloaded it off the Internet and then paid a lawyer for defense against those anti file-sharing people. Now that would've been revolutionary.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Monday, November 03, 2003
Not love, actually,
but the day was filled with other emotions. In fact, you might say it was quite an emotional day. This was caused by, my "business proofreading class". In it I found out that I am not using commas correctly. I'm not using them incorrectly regularly, but I should be using them more often (or always) to separate independent clauses with a conjunction. Also I should be using them in lists to eliminate confusion. For instance I should say, "This is a fine list containing peaches, your mom, eight robots, and a slice of rhubarb pie." This way you know that ruhbarb pie and eight robots are distinct. I didn't know I felt strongly about commas, but I was feeling quite defensive.
Further emotions sprung forth at my unveiling. You can call Coach, Super Dave, Safari Dave, Who is Dave?, or any other name you see fit as I take to guiding the Catholic University Ultimate players. They were fired up and already playing better, so I am looking forward to this challenge.
Is hungy an emotion? 'Cause I'm that too. Also, I'm now ticked because I've edited this post 3 times. Let it go.
but the day was filled with other emotions. In fact, you might say it was quite an emotional day. This was caused by, my "business proofreading class". In it I found out that I am not using commas correctly. I'm not using them incorrectly regularly, but I should be using them more often (or always) to separate independent clauses with a conjunction. Also I should be using them in lists to eliminate confusion. For instance I should say, "This is a fine list containing peaches, your mom, eight robots, and a slice of rhubarb pie." This way you know that ruhbarb pie and eight robots are distinct. I didn't know I felt strongly about commas, but I was feeling quite defensive.
Further emotions sprung forth at my unveiling. You can call Coach, Super Dave, Safari Dave, Who is Dave?, or any other name you see fit as I take to guiding the Catholic University Ultimate players. They were fired up and already playing better, so I am looking forward to this challenge.
Is hungy an emotion? 'Cause I'm that too. Also, I'm now ticked because I've edited this post 3 times. Let it go.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
However, I fear that this is not the height of lameness
For the past two nights, those being the traditional party nights of Friday and Saturday, I have barely been able to function past 11 p.m. In fact at around 9:30 on each of those nights I have begun to look around for the clock thinking, "my God, it must be like 1 a.m." It isn't.
You've already heard some mention of the Halloween goings-on and figured that surely things would get settled down as the weekend progressed. And settle down they did. Last night I went to what can only be called "Spectacle of the Baby". Proud Aunt Monika had us over to meet Shan, pronounced like Shaun (poor kid). We watched him for something like 2 hours. And I do mean watched. There was lots of baby talk and bouncing up and down. It was not as much fun as it sounds. Although, I took my turn holding him and admit that it might have been the highlight of my weekend, but please don't tell the other twenty-somethings. They expect a lot more drunkenness and wild outings that last past 11. Frankly, so do I. I'm just too tired to partake.
For the past two nights, those being the traditional party nights of Friday and Saturday, I have barely been able to function past 11 p.m. In fact at around 9:30 on each of those nights I have begun to look around for the clock thinking, "my God, it must be like 1 a.m." It isn't.
You've already heard some mention of the Halloween goings-on and figured that surely things would get settled down as the weekend progressed. And settle down they did. Last night I went to what can only be called "Spectacle of the Baby". Proud Aunt Monika had us over to meet Shan, pronounced like Shaun (poor kid). We watched him for something like 2 hours. And I do mean watched. There was lots of baby talk and bouncing up and down. It was not as much fun as it sounds. Although, I took my turn holding him and admit that it might have been the highlight of my weekend, but please don't tell the other twenty-somethings. They expect a lot more drunkenness and wild outings that last past 11. Frankly, so do I. I'm just too tired to partake.
Saturday, November 01, 2003
Happy Holloween
Halloween was particularly unsettling, here are some possible reasons why:
-Rob was a very ugly Ringwraith.
-Kim was a disturbing Reuben.
-My sweet tooth never really kicked in.
-I couldn't escape the feeling of my impending doom as November approached.
-various other events that my team of lawyers has asked that I not discuss.
Halloween was particularly unsettling, here are some possible reasons why:
-Rob was a very ugly Ringwraith.
-Kim was a disturbing Reuben.
-My sweet tooth never really kicked in.
-I couldn't escape the feeling of my impending doom as November approached.
-various other events that my team of lawyers has asked that I not discuss.
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