The return of the psoas

There are few muscles in my body more sinister than the psoas. Some two years ago while trying to play Ultimate on a mid-level club team I managed to aggravate my psoas. I don't know how it happened, but I ended up sitting out most of the season and bouncing around between doctors and therapists who barely managed to help me deal with the slight pain and the decreased use of some much needed body parts for the game of Ultimate. I'm talking about my groin, my back, and my stomach muscles. Pretty important stuff when trying to run, cut, and throw. My life went into a bit of a tailspin at that point. I recognize that aggravation of a major muscle isn't exactly a big deal when so many people are dealing with real problems, but I was inconsolable. It was ugly.

I came to terms with less Ultimate. I spent time weightlifting. I made amends and got a hold of the inconsolable parts and finally talked some sense into them. I'd worked it out. I got to play some Ultimate and I put my energy into other areas. It was good, even great. Then consistent weightlifting started to translate into Ultimate success. Ultimate success sent me out looking for more Ultimate.

Recently, I chose a low-level, low-commitment club team to be my new playground. I figured that I could recruit my friends to be on the team, not worry so much about the game and the score, and have a good time. Parts of me struggled with this decision. There's still a piece of me that yearns to be the best and battle it out with the best, but frankly, I was scared to of the time and effort that might take and I was scared of my psoas. I admitted it, but a voice in my head (and a few voices not in my head) kept egging me on to try to do more. I was content with my decision, until Saturday. On Saturday, the team I'd chosen canceled the low-commitment practice for the rest of the month.

I wanted to play Ultimate. That was the point. So, I made up my mind to put out a feeler at the mid-level again. My psoas didn't like that. I didn't even get to the practice. I just decided to go. That sent my psoas into a frenzy. Just like last time, the pain started in my groin. Then it anchors itself firmly in my right abdomen and teases my back muscles. It doesn't hurt exactly, but it spells trouble. I skipped the mid-level stuff and began trying to do damage control.

Even if I need to slow back down with Ultimate, I will not crash this time. I am more than a game with a disc and I will prove it everyday if I have to.