Stranger than Fiction!
I was sleep-walking to the Metro today, so what I'm about to spill into this space could be made up, but I don't think it is. Stumbling along, minding my own business, I had just thought to myself, "I really don't desire to go to work today."

The end.

No. I kid. I had just thought that I didn't want to go to work and that I was barely awake, when out of the sky came a bird. This bird attacked from the rear flank and slammed into my upper arm and backpack before flying away. Stunned by this event, I looked around and saw the bird flapping away. I walked on and the bird turned as if to make another attack. As he flew by, I ripped my bag from my back and tossed it aside. The bird was not near enough for another strike, but still too close for comfort. Two kind gentlemen asked, "What happened?" as I looked around with a mixture of fear and anger.

"The bird attacked me," I replied. They laughed. I grabbed my bag and rushed off saying only, "There's a story for you."

Later, I tried to formulate a headline for my story. It went something like this: Bird attacks man with banana. Banana not that good anyway.