In unrelated "media" news

I don't know why, but I think I would like it if I could get graphs from iTunes. I would like both bar graphs and line graphs of play counts, genres, dates, possibly even song graphing capabilities. I'm not at all sure what conclusions I would draw from my listening habits graphed, but I sense that it would be fascinating.

I would also like for Safeway to provide me with my buying history. I know that some marketing ogre has all of my information on her computer and she can tell anyone that asks exactly how many Twinkies I have purchased in the last 36 months. I think it would be fun to see graphs of my grocery buying habits too. We could compare meat purchases to dessert purchases to fruit and vegetable purchases and use that information to continue to ignore good dietary sense. We could compare my Colorado buying habits with my current buying habits. It could be fun and informative. It could.

Speaking of educational information, I have just been informed that television is on the brink of returning to my living room. My living room is too small for cable. However, I no longer have the willpower to fight it off. I fear this could be the end of an era. I have gone almost two years without TV in the home. In those two years I've watched hours and hours of movies and TV shows on DVD, so other than commercials I'm not sure how much "me time" I've really saved, but I do know that the lack of TV has helped me control some urges. Without TV, I don't want and need the way I did before. Products are less likely to compel me to action. When I waste hours in front of a screen, it's not spent on flipping channels, it's usually spent on clicking to people's blogs, but that at least requires reading. PLUS, plus with TV, there's always a chance that I might accidentally end up watching TV news. We all know that TV news burns retinas and dulls the brain, just as it tries to whip up a frenzied panic on the dangers of the likes of Mayonnaise.

I want to say that as an adult, I'll be able to handle TV. That I'll be able to get up and walk away when I'm finished. I'll watch the Gilmore Girls and I'll shut it off, but that's not the reality. For the first month or so, that might work. Girls. zap. off. Then it'll be Girls, channel flipping for 15 minutes, half a sitcom, some other show that I don't care about. Pretty soon, I'm flipping between VH1 and MTV and it's 3 in the morning, the couch is sagging under the weight of my now enormous stomach, as drool leaks out of the side of my mouth and collects in my beard along with the Cheetos that missed my pie hole on the first go. Oh sure, the Sandwich will try and control me, but one day I'll be screaming, "HAVE YOU SEEN THE FALL LINEUP FOR FX. IT'S F-ING BRILLIANT! GET OFF MY BACK!" and he'll have no choice but to slink back to his room as I belch good riddance.

Don't worry though. I've saved a seat on the couch next to me especially for you.