It's after midnight and neither hungriness nor horniness is strong enough to compel me to action. Instead I sit here, ready to discuss my recent Buffy and Angel addiction. I feel this story is most appropriately told from the beginning.

In the beginning there were Buffy fans. These fans went to my college and they said, "Rah. Rah. Watch Buffy." And I said, "No." And they said (in high pitched voices, of course), "Why?" And I said (in my coming-of-age-manly-college voice) "Because Ed's on. And also because I might want to play frisbee. And furthermore I don't want to." What I really meant by that last part was that I didn't want to exactly because these fans wanted me to. There are times when my sense of rebellion is um, like, totally lame (said in my best valley girl).

Time passed.

I moved to this area and found all those same Buffy fans and they said (back to their high pitched-ways), "Rah. Rah. La la la Now you should watch and sing Buffy." And I said (in my wise twenty-something voice) "I'd really rather not." And they said, "La La La. You don't have to watch but we're going to talk about it ceaselessly and make you sing along- la la la."
And I sang.

Time passed.

For a moment the fans seemed disquieted by the lack of news in the Buffyverse and the ceaseless talking ceased.

And deep in the recesses of my deep and recessful mind, the rumblings of the end of a rebellion rumbled. So one night, not so long ago when the question "What shall we do?" was posed, I suggested (in my I'm-26-and-too-cool-for-all-this-faux-rebellion voice which sounds nothing like Bob Saget) "Let's watch Buffy."

And the peasants rejoiced.

My friend Kim, who in my opinion should have an honorary degree from the charred remains of Sunnydale High, was placed in charge of picking an episode that would be both enjoyable, but also have what they call in the industry (What industry? Who cares?) the "hooks".

Kim, like a frickin' fireman, came through with the hooks and the ladder, bi-atch! But that was like August and so I have almost no recollection of which episodes she chose. I'm pretty sure it was in season 2. And I know there was some serious Buff and Angel melo-DRAMA.

And Time passed. Only in this case it was like lots less time. And it was hardly passing at all unless I was consuming either Buffy or Angel. The fruit of Joss's mental loins was like my f-in' rock candy. And so I'm jamming away, chowing down on DVD after DVD, and now like 2 months later I've been through something like 4 seasons of the Buff-ster and 2 of good old Angelicus. OUT OF CONTROL.

And the next thing you know I'm surrounded by all these fans and we're watching season 1 and I totally realize that I'm one of them. I don't have all the ties, because like Riley wasn't breaking Buffy's heart at the same time as my boyfriend was breaking my heart and so Buffy and I do not lead parallel lives. I just don't have the life time investment connection that the TV fans had, but I've developed my own sense of fanaticism. And it involves the desperate need for closure more than the full-on identification with the characters. Don't get me wrong. These shows are some good times, which I suppose is what most of you were saying all along, but Carol Vescey and Ed and the bowling alley... And I had the rebellion thing going. It was all modern-day James Dean only with more khaki and less jean.

P.S. I love Charisma Carpenter.
Shut up.