And I swear
Today my brain has not shut up. Where usually it's content with a song and the mole of some soon-to-be-forgotten girl, today it was chattering away profanely. So pardon my beeps as we join my brain in search of the local post office.

"Where the BEEP is the BEEPing post office? It's got to be around here somewhere. Who the hell needs so many BEEPing hair dressers? It's not BEEPing here. BEEEEP. I'll cross the street then. Why the BEEP are the buses trying to run me over. I'm not even in the street. Well BEEP them. What are you looking at, woman?
Quizno's. huh. I didn't know that was here. FINALLY, there's the BEEPing post office. Why does it say closed? It's not even 5 o'clock. Mother BEEEEP. Oh, that's 'closed from 2 to 3:30', my mistake. (Approach door, stop.) I don't feel like dealing with postal workers. BEEP it. (Walking away) That guy probably thinks you're leaving. He thinks it's closed too. Who cares what the BEEP he thinks?
Would you please knock off the profanity? You're like a BEEPing sailor. DAMMMit, don't you ever shut up?"

And then I had to walk the rest of the way home. It's hard escaping your own mind. Apologies to the children and the offensive, er offended, er sorry.